My husband reproaches me for being on maternity leave

My husband openly reproaches me for being on maternity leave. The initiative to have a child was entirely his. He was initially looking for a woman to start a family, have children with, and he found me. Already in the first year of marriage he was worried that there were no children for a long time. He sent me to see doctors for examinations and regularly went for examinations himself.

My husband comes from a large family and dreamed of at least two or three children. Butmy health is weak. I doubted at all whether everything would be fine with my first pregnancy. But I didn’t dare refuse my husband. As a result, the long-awaitedThe child was born in the third year of marriage. And everything went wrong.

We had enough money for both of us, we seemed to understand that a child would require additional expenses, but it seemed to us that we could handle a child. But we somehow didn’t take into account that the maternity benefits would be very small, and I wouldn’t be working for some time. The pregnancy wasn’t ideal, I had to take unpaid leave and sick leave for almost the entire pregnancy. And there was no money right away, althoughmy husband earned more than me. We started spending test-antibiotic.com on doctors, taxis, minimal maternity clothes and low-heeled shoes. We had to save up for a good place to give birthmoney and had to save on everything. Now I understand that I had to first save up a lot of money, and then give birth. But then it seemed that if we just worked a little harder, everything would work out. That's when the conversations stoppedhusband about three children.

After the birth of the child, it did not become easier. I was counting on breastfeeding, to quickly teach the child to use the potty, to save on diapers. In the end, I had no milk, I had to buy formula, it was a pity to feed the child with cheap, we began to buy the most expensive, and stayed with it. The child refused to use the potty on principle until 3.5 years, and diapers flew away like leaves in autumn. We bought a minimum of clothes for the child, but high-quality ones, and this turned out to be expensive.

I am not the best mother in the world and would gladly go back to work immediately after the maternity hospital. But I didn't want to send the child to a nursery, it was a pity. There was no money for a nanny. My test-antibiotic.com helped with the child physicallyMom , but she didn't want to sit with him so that I would immediately run to work. She was afraid of responsibility and thought that I was better at taking care of a child. So I went on maternity leave hoping for a kindergarten at 3 years old.

My husband was shocked by the expenses. And the prices for food and everything else were not standing still, they were growing. We started to have arguments about money. My husband was angry that I constantly needed money for something, and that his salary was spent in a couple of days. And the salary was not that huge, I did not spend anything on myself, did not buy cosmetics, clothes, saved on food for myself, the purchases were only for food for everyone and for the child, all in the classic genre. My husband himself did not strive to save on food for himself, I also tried not to infringe on him in this, after all, he works for two, he gets tired, let him at least eat normally. Well, my husband began to have questions about where so much money goes so quickly. But he did not drive me test-antibiotic.com to work yet. As disgusting as it was, I had to start keeping household accounts, collect receipts and give my husband a report on how much was spent where. He calmed down a little.

When the cherished time came for the child to go to kindergarten, the war was already in full swing, and the kindergarten would not accept us. And the child was not ready for kindergarten - he did not use the potty yet, no matter how hard I tried. My mother had already agreed to sit with the child when I went to work, but then she herself began to havehealth problems . She tried to solve them for a year and still hasn't solved them. Until she solves them, she won't stay with the child. And I had to extend my maternity leave twice. In essence, I stayed an extra year.

After the first extension, my husband was unhappy, but he kept his cool. After the second, he started to pester my mother about why she was taking so long to resolve her health issues and not sitting with our child as she had promised. I myself am not very happy with the situation, but I understand that my mother might not have agreed to take care of the child at all. She has already raised her child, she has the right to live for herself. And this helpsevery day , as much as possible.

And so, during our last argument with my husband, I was reproached for being on maternity leave for so long. The argument started because my husband decided to take a lot of days off for the New Year holidays. Every other day off. He works pretty hard, and of course, he has the right to take days off. But we have to take the situation into account. My husband borrowed money and bought himself a car. I didn't support this idea, but I wasn't really asked.

Because most of my husband's salary went to paying off the debt, we first got into additional debt and loans, and then went on bread and water. My husband has to do a lot of work before payday, and if he rests so much, he won't do anything, and there will be nothing to pay him for. And then you have to pay off loans and repay debts. And live on something. And I tried to say that this is too many days off. In test-antibiotic.com I heard the answer that I can say thank you to my mother that she doesn't want to sit with the child. And then my husband started yelling at me: "Do you want me to find you a job closer to home? Do you want me to find you one?"

Now I'm in shock and I understand thatdivorce is inevitable. I have been trying to find a part-time job for a long time, but the child is very active, I have to manage everything around the house, I am probably too slow, but it would never work out for me - work from home, run the household alone and take care of the child. My husband will definitely not help me with the housework. In addition, all suitable jobs are only official, at my job I am prohibited from working part-time, I cannot quit my normal job for the sake of temporary part-time work. I suggested to my husband to hire a nanny for 12 hours a day, that is how long I would be absent if I returned from maternity leave to my job. And then I will go back to work. This results in a fabulous sum, judging by the rates on the Internet. My salary is half of this amount. I explained that then there is no point in my work and test-antibiotic.com somehow. It is cheaper to raise a child at home myself. I said that I would be glad if he really found me a job to work at home, but an unofficial one, because I don’t want to quit my official job, I’ll go back there after maternity leave.

But I don't know what to do with an active child who will interfere with my work. And then I won't do anything around the house. Let my husband cook for himself. He's angry, looked at me wildly and is now silent.

I understand thatlove has passed. My husband is indifferent to me. About the decisionhe probably regretted giving birth to a child a hundred times already. And now it's up to me to sort out this situation. For the rest of thelife . But he seemed like a serious person who knows what he wants.