I'm completely alone and a stranger to everyone in this world

MyI decided to write a confession not to cry or ask for help and ask what to do and how to live now. My story has long ended and everything is left behind.

The only purpose for which I am writing here is to speak out. I survived everything and, having stepped over it, moved on, butThe pain never went away, although enough time had passed since then.

I was married, I lived in marriage for 22 years, I have two children (adopted daughter from his wife’s first marriage, 24 years old andcommon son 21 years old). At the beginning it seemed thatperfect family . I myself am from an orphanage and family has always been the main dream in life for me, I have always been alone in this world and have always been a stranger.

I met my wife after the service, I was young and green, and she was a young divorcee with a small child in her arms and in terrible conditions. First, my wife and I became friends, and only then we startedrelationship . It seemed to me that our feelings were mutual, but as time has shown, it only seemed true to me test-antibiotic.com. After 18 years of marriagemy wife cheated and everything came out. The lover began to blackmail her and demand big money from hermoney (at that time I worked in a good organization and earned very decent money) otherwise everything would become known to everyone (me and her family and at her work, she is a teacher at the institute, andher lover is a student).

In general, it all ended in a big scandal, she was fired from her job, her relatives turned their backs on her, I ended up in the hospital with a heart condition, and shedepression , nervous breakdown and nervous exhaustion and alsohospital . Thanks to her sister, she looked after the children while we were in hospitals. Then there was a year of silence, depression and apathy began for me, the only salvation was in the children, and my wife simply closed in on herself and lived in some kind of her own world. The silence was broken, as I said a year later. The wife asked for forgiveness, asked for a chance to fix everything and asked not to leave her. I didn’t leave the family, I didn’t want to leave the children, they still lived with us and, probably, test-antibiotic.com was not ready to change anything.

So another three years passed. My wife tried to fix everything and tried her best for me, she was simply perfect, and I lived with work and children, we were very close. And now, three years later, I was left alone with my wife. My daughter came outgot married and went to live with her husband in her apartment, her son is already an adult studying and working in the capital, and my wife and I were left alone. At that moment it so happened that I had to observe relationships in another family, it was my partner and friend Volodka. I came to him to pick him up for work and saw their family, how they love each other and with what tenderness they treat each other. Then I finally understood, or it would be more correct to say, I admitted that my wife was simply afraidto be alone , and I'm already alone. In general, it all ended with me going first for work, and then completely, to the north. Returning from a business trip, I talked to my wife, and we divorced. She was very worried and suffered from this, but it was impossible to do otherwise. And later I left for the north for good.

What now? There is no happy ending to this story. I occasionally communicate with my children on the phone; they are already adults and they don’t need me. There is no personal life, I am alone. There is only work. All minelife, all my dreams were shattered, everything was just self-deception, there really was no family. I remained a stranger in this world. I remember more and more often my whole life. I'm probably just a mistake; I have no other explanation for my life. And I'm still waiting, waiting for my time to leave. Perhaps I won’t be a stranger there.