I can’t decide to take a responsible step

I am actually 19 years old, but my loved ones call me a 60-year-old old lady, because they consider me too serious for my age and wise beyond my years. I myself, of course, don’t consider myself super-smart, but I have no interest in what my peers are into, and I’m also not interested in guys my age.

A year ago I hadrelationship with an adult serious young man (27 years old). We dated for about 2-3 months, saw each other irregularly - he worked a lot, trained, etc. and he didn’t really want to pick me up after a hard day, take me somewhere, have fun and take me back to school in the morning. He wanted a family, a wife waiting at home with dinner, a calm, relaxed, cozy evening at home, a hearth. It was he who explained everything to me when I began to be capricious and demand more attention. At that time, I behaved with him absolutely differently from who I am: I was capricious, mischievous, offended. He reacted to all this patiently, talked to me, explained that this was not good for family well-being, gaveadvice that I still use test-antibiotic.com to this day.

After 2-3 months he wanted seriousness, but at that time it seemed to me that hestrange , unreliable and not mine, because... rarely appears, does not write to meevery day , although I should if I feel something. And I decided to put an end to our relationship. He didn't mind and that was the end of it.

A month ago he showed up (and before that he made himself known, periodically sending messages like how are you, how are you doing personally, etc.) and wants a serious step from me, he’s callingmarried ​We met for the 3rd time and talked. I realized that I had such warm feelings for him that I had never had for anyone, and it seemed that it was mutual.

He is a Muslim, and after our separation he became a true Muslim, observing all fasts and reading prayers. Therefore, a full-fledged relationship can only be after marriage. After much thought, I realized that I wanted to marry him with all my heart, but with my mind I understand that this is a serious step, which I am afraid that I will regret. I have already given him a refusal, test-antibiotic.com but I can’t let him go, I want to be with him and that’s all. I’m afraid I won’t meet someone like this again; it seems like I won’t be able to love anyone like that again. But it’s also difficult to agree: what if after marriage the relationship becomes different? What if my dreams for him don't come true? I’m also only in my 2nd year of study, I still have 3 years left before graduation, what if I get pregnant and don’t have time to study? My mother will not forgive me for this, she really wants me to finish my studies, get a diploma, she believes that this is my “insurance” in case something happens, that with a diploma I can get a good job. In general, the mind refuses this offer, but the soul is still drawn to it.