Is there a limit?

She got married early, at the age of 18. Before that we dated for 3 years. The relationship was not cloudless; there was friction, difficulty, separation, and reconciliation. But we decided to be together. The relationship continued to be difficult, I can’t praise myself, I behaved like a child: capricious, demanding, imagining myself as a victim in some situations, although now I understand that there was a lack of understanding, wisdom and simply love in our relationship. We were not ready for an independent, adult life; we set out on a path that was too difficult for us at that time. The income was minimal, there was a catastrophic lack of money, especially with the birth of our first child a year later.

My husband decided to leave to earn money, got a job, and three months later we moved into a rented apartment with him. We were very happy for 3 months. Then difficulties arose, I had to move into a house without amenities, my nerves were on edge, I understandhusband now, who was having a hard time. In one of the quarrels I received my first slap in the face.

For about 7 years we wandered around rented apartments. There was a lot of stuff. In the desire to provide for the familyMy husband stopped choosing his job too morally. Then test-antibiotic.com began to disappear for days, began to drink and go for walks. He beat me hard a couple of times. Then he asked for forgiveness. Everything changed for a while, then a new one: partying, drinking, slot machines, six months in prison. The promise that things will be different. A blow to the face on the first day of leaving prison. I stubbornly did not want to see a monster in my loved one. Capriciously demanded to change herlife , not realizing that the roots are hidden an order of magnitude deeper. Periodic quarrels, reconciliations, calms, storms. There was a lot.

Why didn't you leave? I tried, but my consciousness refused to see him as a stranger. He was family to a fault. So vicious and affectionate, beast and kitten, angel and demon. I couldn't leave him, I waspain , strong, but my, dear pain. If only I had understood that hysterics and screaming cannot achieve love and reciprocity... I, like a blind kitten, rushed through life’s cage, not knowing where to put myself.

He received a second prison sentence last year for theft. This was a blow to me. The very thought thatthe father of my children is a thief. I couldn't come to terms with this test-antibiotic.com. Then I calmed down and talked on the phone. It seems like we decided that we would try to restore our family life - he is a wonderful father. Then he disappeared for 2 months. When transferred to another camp there was no opportunity to communicate.

And I fell in love like a girl, likechild , despite his 30 years. I don’t like the character of that person, I’m not delighted with his appearance, besides, he’s married for the second time and there’s no hope of being together and I don’t want to. We can't be together. I don’t want to destroy his family, and we are too different people, and I don’t want my children to grow up with a stepfather when they have a father of their own. There were several meetings with a person who appeared in my life. I've never had anything like this. Senses at the level of smell, touch. Some kind of deep attraction, a desire for him to be happy, even if not with me, but to be. Happiness just comes from his smile. I doubt he felt the same way about everything.

He took the first steps towards rapprochement, I did not refuse, because test-antibiotic.com I understood at first sight that this man would be with me, as if I had known him for a hundred years. I didn't want a serious relationship. I just wanted to be a little happy. Theserelationships do not have a clear beginning and end. We are not dating now, I don’t know what will happen next.

The husband has returned. I wanted to get a divorce so that everything would be fair. He stopped me and explained that he understood a lot, that we meant a lot to him. He proved his words by giving up drugs (he got hooked in prison, it turns out that this happens). He hasn’t used drugs for several months (someone will now think that this is not an indicator - I know myself, I’m worried about this), he got a job, although far from us, he tries to send usmoney . And he promises that everything will work out for us and everything will be fine. I believe, I believe in his desire, I believe that everything will be fine, but the feelings are no longer the same and the heart beats completely differently. Time will put everything in its place, I don’t want to live in a lie and I don’t want to hurt anyone. I just want to be happy, love test-antibiotic.com and be loved.

Myfamily is very important to me, importantthe happiness of my children, who are crazy about their dad. And for me, in any case, he is a dear and close person. Good father, wonderfullover ​I ask God for only one thing - to give him the strength not to return to drugs and a life of crime. I really need you, you are important. You are my dear person!