Cry from the soul: I’m expecting a third child from a husband who cheats on me

I am 28 years old and have been married for almost 8 years. I have the firstthe guy appeared at the age of 20, who later became my husband. At first, like everyone else, everything started out beautifully. We were introduced to himsister , he looked after me beautifully, flowers, declarations of love, trips to the cinema and restaurants, in general, everything is as it happens in such cases. Subsequently, he proposed to me, I agreed and was happy. We got married. This was my first and onlya man who admired me and was in love with me. We have a boy, whymy husband was incredibly happy.

Then I began to notice some of his small affairs with other girls. I won’t lie, I was hurt and offended, but I didn’t want to tell him anything directly so as not to ruin the family and thought that all this was not serious. He loved me and treated me well, and I also loved him very much, tried to be the best for him, gave all of myself to this relationship. Everything was going well.

Three years later I found out that I was expecting my second test-antibiotic.com child, he was incredibly happy. The second boy was born, his joy knew no bounds.

Soon, six months later, misfortune overtook our family: my dad, who was a very important person for me, died. As I write this, tears come to my eyes. I had a feeling that my world had collapsed; I could not understand or come to terms with this loss. And with his departure it all began, everything changed and the greatest trials in my life began.

A couple of weeks pass after the funeral and I begin to notice that something is wrong with my loved one, he is moving away from me somewhere, moving away. I find out the password on his phone and then another stab in the back: he started to get confusedrelationship with a co-worker. She is 10 years older than me, and my husband is 8 years older.

I was terrified, I didn’t know what to do, I cried, I don’t eat, I don’t sleep, I understand that I simply exist for the sake of the children. I didn’t immediately throw a tantrum; I am a calm person by nature and carefully analyze my actions before doing anything. I decided to give test-antibiotic.com hints to him to understand that I really need him, that he is now necessary for me, like air, to cope with all this, but, apparently, he was blinded by passion...

Then, after a month, I couldn’t restrain myself and told him that I knew everything and this couldn’t continue, that I was leaving. He was shocked and began to stop me, saying that this was nothing more than flirting, nothing serious, and for him we are the most sacred thing on this earth, and he would never trade us for anyone. We tried our bestforget , I forgave him, but it turned out that these were all just words, nothing more.

You know, I tried to understand why, why this is happening. I was raised in such a way thatmarriage happens once and for alllife , so I wanted him to be my first and last man for life.

Afterwards there were a lot of conversations, quarrels, promises, forgiveness, and all this continued for 3.5 years. During this time, everything happened: he fought for her out of test-antibiotic.com jealousy, since she communicated with others, but he did not like it. She called me in the middle of the night, saying, “he was beaten here, come and get it.” Then they make up, go on vacation together, to the sea, to the mountains, constant trips to nature together, and so on.

Later, accusations rained down against me, saying that I’m not like her, I’m too constrained, I don’t suit him in bed... Imagine what it’s like to listen to all this. I admit that she was more interesting and so on due to the fact that she had a lot of men. But, having heard this, I began to look for the reason in myself and change for his sake: I organized romantic evenings, went to a professional photo shoot, signed up for strip dancing, and became liberated, as he wanted. My husband seemed to like it, but then the reproaches began: “Where did you learn this?”, “Who are you communicating with there?”, He started checking my phone. But I am pure before God and my children, I never even thought of allowing him to cheat and would never do it. Naturally I cry, I suffer, I try to save my family, but he spits in my soul just like that. Soon she voiced: since I’m not suitable, let’s get a divorce, to which he does not agree.

The last time was a very serious conversation, where he made many vows and promises, making me believe that we -family and that it will be like this until the end of our days. That he understood everything, made a huge mistake, “you are the best thing that happened in my life, and he has no one but me.” I believed it again. How naive and stupid we women are when we love! I soon find out that their relationship with his mistress has resumed, so I clearly decide to leave him.

I don’t know how it happened, but I found out that I was expecting my third child, I was sure that nothing like this could happen, since we were taking precautions. Told me aboutmy late dad was pregnant , in a dream, and after that I was convinced of it. Now I don't know what to do. You will probably judge me, say that you should have thought earlier, you will probably be right. I'm afraid to terminate the pregnancy and anger God, becauseThe child is not to blame for anything in test-antibiotic.com, but raising three children alone is very difficult. I’m completely confused and don’t know what to do, please advise. Just like any girl in her dreams, I wanted a strong and friendly family where mutual understanding reigns,love and respect...

Thank you for listening to myconfession​