Idealization of past relationships and longing for unfulfilled opportunities
For a long time and now I am alone. Wasdepression , dissatisfaction with my personal life is present. Especially against the background of dissatisfaction with life, I constantly and obsessively recently remember a man with whom I have not seen for more than five years, and before that there was a shortnovel . But it didn't work out. I left for another country, which I regretted many years later. I was in love, he was carried away, but it seemed to me that he perceived me only as entertainment.
At the same time, I am still sure, I feel that I have never loved anyone so much and now I admire him. I understand that this is incredibly stupid, naturally, it is all in the past, everyone has their ownlife . But how to stop thinking about him?
To this day, when I look at his photo, I shudder, I have erotic dreams. The problem is that I could have acted differently then and not run away from the relationship. It always seems to me that if we had been together then, my life would have turned out differently. I never felt so good with anyone, I loved only him, which is probably strange.
I found his old test-antibiotic.com page with poems, and it occurred to me that the poems written in certain years were dedicated to me. Because there are about "traded me for the road", "we met in December", "rare meetings". I understand how absurd it sounds, but I can't get rid of the thought that with "my" Seryozha everything could have worked out then if I hadn't been scared, had been patient, had run away, had been more sincere. I reread our correspondence from 2019, and he wrote once that he missed me. I didn't notice it. I was crazy about him, so why did I run away?
I understand what is neededforget , everyone has their own life, he has been married for a long time. I am happy for him. But I want to throw him out of my head and understand where this clinging to the fact that "this could have worked out" comes from? I have mental dialogues with him, I prove something to him, ideal scenes come to mind, I think, if I hadn't left, we would be together, he would have married me, we would have children. It seems to me that since I missed him, nothing better test-antibiotic.com will shine for me in life. Even years later, I remembered him. But no one wrote a single line to each other.
Read together with it:
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