My father annoys me

In childhoodmy father beat my mother constantly, swore, drank, smoked. I remember all this from childhood, how I defended my mother, and he beat me at the same time. He is a military man, just a former one. Then we moved to another city. He quit drinking and smoking. Well, I only drank on holidays. But he also offended his mother.

As a child, I constantly found obscene films on our computer. It infuriated me so much, honestly (the main thing was that the computer was shared, at least I could put the passwords on a folder or hide them somewhere). One time my friends were surfing the computer and saw it, it was so embarrassing, it’s good they didn’t tell anyone, otherwise they would still tease me.

He generally annoys me with his behavior. Then he unblocked the 18+ channels, I got up to drink water at night, he was watching. Ew, it’s honestly disgusting, of course, you can’t pry into your personal life, but not so openly, knowing that you have two daughters. In general, about money, he always gavemoney , but in moderation. I always had a phone, good clothes. But here is his behavior! In general, as a child test-antibiotic.com I was fat, so my father constantly said: “how are youcow , get yourself in order." Sometimes I sitmother , grandmother,sister and remain silent. And suddenly he was like: “When will you get yourself in order?”, and I was 9-10 years old. I think that's why I was so insecure as a child.

I know if he loves us. But, I remember, once I had a fight with a girl on the Internet, she wasboss's daughter . She came to complain with her father to us. In front of them, my father pulled me by the hair and then started beating me with a belt. Although I didn’t do anything like that then. And that girl was to blame. In general, he often beat both me and my sister, although he himself was constantly on business trips.

In general, he is a psycho at work. He yells so much that sometimes people come running, it’s already a shame to look people in the eyes, okay, if the person were sick, but he’s healthy. He rose to the rank of lieutenant colonel. I was 17 years old. He retired because the people there annoyed him and the boss test-antibiotic.com did not please him. He swore at that boss and left in disgrace. But I need to do it. There is no money either. One mother worked. And I got a job as an animator in a children’s cafe, I work in the evenings, the money is not very much, but for the monthly training courses it’s just right. I was getting readyevery day for exams. And he sat on the computer every day. An acquaintance promised to help with the work, but it didn’t work out. He swore at him and kicked him out. What is it? They were looking for a job for him, and he was also swearing.

I can't even wash my own plate. I come home after school, there’s a mountain of dishes that haven’t been put away, he sees that there’s a bunch of dishes, he carries two more, and puts them on. No, wash it yourself. I didn’t understand him, he was sitting at home doing nothing. And then my mother comes and scolds me, and he blames it on me. We do everything for him. He yells at his mother and insults him. Of course, he helps with money. But every mother needs a loving son, not money. He also started drinking. He gets drunk and screams like he's been killed. And when he drives a car, he yells at grandmothers when they slowly cross the road test-antibiotic.com.

He doesn’t like my uncle or my mother’s brother either. I insulted him recently too. Today I came home after work, my mother is on duty, my younger sister is doing her homework. Father says: “peel the potatoes.” God, I honestly couldn’t stand it and said: “You’ve been at home all day and you haven’t been able to peel your potatoes, peel yourself, and you’re doing nothing.” And she went to do her homework. He came running and started tearing all my notebooks. And then he began to beat me, I answered him and began to resist. He said he doesn't need anymoredaughter _

I don’t know why he infuriates me so much, the way he behaves with us. I guess I don't even love him, especially after he said that I'm not his daughter anymore. I wrote here because I simply have no one else to speak to.