All that's left is to live

It sometimes happens that you seem to live in a whirlwind rhythm and suddenly some kind of melancholy comes upon you, so heavy, dreary, you begin to look back at the past. Like today, for example.

This happened 9 years ago. I was a schoolgirl then, an 11th grader, and he was a grade lower. What was it likelove , everyone envied us. Still would! The first handsome boy of the school and I am a typical gray mouse. We dated for a year. I graduated from school, entered the philology department, moved to another city, we saw each other less often, but ourthe relationship did not become colder because of this. While in the city, I rented an apartment, first alone, then I moved in with my best friend Anya, a neighbor from my hometown. And then it began...

Now, after a while, I began to understand that she was either too jealous of us, or simply wanted to do a mischief, I don’t know, but then she didn’t see, didn’t notice. She told him all sorts of nasty things about me and kept wooing her little sister, but I was sure that Andrei loved only me. Holy naivety. One fine day she tells Andrey that I have hereguy , test-antibiotic.com that I’ve been dating him for a long time, but she allegedly didn’t dare tell him.

Andrei no longer answered my calls, my entreaties to meet and talk, and simply turned away from me, never knowing the truth. I lived only by them, I breathed only by them. At first I thought that he would calm down and still listen to me, give me a chance to tell him that this was all not true, and I waited. God, how painful it was. Then I realized that he would not return, would never return. And there’s no point in talking to him, he won’t believe me anyway, he’ll think I’m making excuses.

And then I find out that he is dating Anya’s sister, Nastya. Hit below the belt! I wanted to die. I lived the dream of this. We never saw each other anywhere, no matter how hard I tried. I only knew from friends that Nastya soon left him, he entered the military academy and that’s it.

2 years have passed. I tried to come to terms with all this and move on with my life. It just somehow happened so strangely that after test-antibiotic.com our partingmy life went downhill. Whether because I didn’t let him go in my heart, or for some other reason, I don’t know. I met someone else who was similar to him, it turned out that only in appearance. Meetings, declarations of love - everything is standard. And then I find out thatpregnant​ The child's father immediately made it clear that these were mineProblems . Mine are mine.

She gave birth to a son, a good and healthy little boy, transferred to correspondence education, and got a job. It was hard, but I managed on my own, without asking anyone for anything. And one fine evening I so unbearably wanted to find Andrei, to find out how he was, how his life turned out, to try my luck, as they say. I turned the whole city upside down to find its coordinates, spent 2 days plucking up the courage to call, preparing a speech... How stupid! Thank God that fromgirlfriend accidentally found out that he was married, hismy wife worked in the same bank as my friend. God, what happened to me! After crying and changing my mind for several nights, I decided firmly and finally that under no circumstances would I destroy his family test-antibiotic.com, I would let him go. After all, he himself made the decision not to be with me, after all! Eh, I wish I could explain this to my heart, so simply and understandably, like, forget it, cool down...

Now he hasdaughter . I met a wonderful man, although he is 15 years older than me, my friend fell in love with him.the son calls him dad, and he raises him like his own. And I have feelings for him, strong ones, he is very dear to me. But sometimes such a burning melancholy will attack that you want to die, I’ll remember Andrey. I understand with my mind that nothing can be changed, that this Andrey doesn’t need me, that he probably doesn’t remember me anymore. But you can’t order your heart. So you understand that all you have to do is live and take care of what you have. And you can't bring back the past.