Now I know what happiness looks like

I was born into a large, poor family in a small provincial town. Parents alllife fought for survival. In the 90s this was the norm. Parents always believed that a person must have a higher education, and they tried in every possible way to give all their children the opportunity to study at a university. My parents didn’t have the opportunity to pay tuition, so I entered a budget-funded place where my passing grades passed. It was unclear who I would be, but I had a goal and I was moving towards it. I didn’t want to return to my parents. One city-forming enterprise, no prospects in either career or personal life. It didn't work out with the guys at all. They considered it too simple and unfashionable. It is very expensive to educate a child in a regional center, so things were simple and cheap, and sometimes, in general, cast-offs from wealthier relatives and friends. I completely immersed myself in my studies. In my final years, I started working part-time to make it easier for my parents, as my younger brothers and sisters were growing up and also required financial contributions.

Already in my last year she invited me to her placefriend Yulia and persuaded me to go test-antibiotic.com with her to the club. I didn't go to clubs because I felt awkward there. My friend almost immediately met a young man named Sergei. He was with a friend, Zhenya, but he didn’t like anyone. I got bored and got ready to go home. A friend persuaded me to go to them. They seemed decent to me. We joked and played cards all night. The guys didn’t even try to pester us, which made us happy. Yulia and Sergei have a spinnovel . She constantly took me on their walks together, and he took Zhenya. We began to communicate, and soon the romance between Yulia and Sergei faded away, and we began to walk, but only without them. Zhenya was very closed and never talked about the future. Naturally we hadsex . He was a little strange, as if Zhenya was afraid of me. We started spending a lot of time together.

My studies were coming to an end. I was offered to go on assignment to the Moscow region. I decided to talk to Zhenya and decide in the future. I wanted to go together. When I told him test-antibiotic.com, he became gloomy and said something that sent shivers down my spine. He said he was sick. That he has HIV and that he has no future, that he cannot have children and that I am constantly at risk by being with him. He said that he loves me very much, but that’s why he doesn’t want to hurt me.pain and suffering in the future when I face the realities of life. It's no secret how our country views this. He suggested breaking up for a week. Think. It’s very difficult for us not to be friends. “You should be happy!” - he said finally and left.

How I survived the week cannot be expressed in words. I didn’t have enough air, and my strength simply left me. I understood that I could not live without this person. I want to make him happy, no matter how much life God gives us. We met a week later and he proposed to me. Thus began a new stage in my life. I wrote my thesis and started a new job. One day on TV test-antibiotic.com I saw a program about couples like us. It was 2004. It said that children are possible for us, but only through IVF with cleaning. This kind of IVF is done only in Germany, and it costs fabulous money.

And now I have a goal. Of course, we can’t handle Germany, but taking into account the way our medicine is progressing, we will soon be able to do the same. Our task is to preserveZhenya's health . We began to work intensively and savemoney . They also began to lead a healthy lifestyle and go to school for HIV-infected people. We constantly kept our finger on the pulse and after 3 years they began to do this type of IVF in Moscow, and, another year later, in St. Petersburg. Of course, there was not enough money for the trip. After all, this is just an attempt. We must be prepared for anything. The husband constantly underwent supportive treatments and procedures and monitored his health. In our house there was a taboo on alcohol and cigarettes. Three years later, IVF with cleaning began to be done in our city, and we realized that it was time. test-antibiotic.com has enough money for us, and we are already ripe for children.

Anyone who has gone through IVF will understand me. Moral feelings are simply off the charts. But you go towards your intended goal through pain and discomfort. When children are given at such a price, you love them limitlessly. It was decided to place twins. It was hard, andpregnancy and childbirth and beyond, but we were ready for any difficulties. After replanting, you feel like a crystal vase. Next, blood for hCG, 2 points on ultrasound and endless joy from the very thought of motherhood.

Until 28 weeks it passed without incident. And then the body failed. He began to reject my children. The kidneys began to fail and other organs began to play pranks. The doctors insisted on inducing labor. I resisted as best I could. I spent 5 weeks on a drip without getting up. My girls were born at 33 weeks. Naturally premature and weak. We were in intensive care. Other children died before my eyes. I survived these 10 days on autopilot, then another month in the pit and we are finally home. Premature and weakened children are a special case. I had to rebuild. test-antibiotic.com What was the norm for other children did not suit us. My husband was nearby and helped. To say that it was hard is to say nothing.

We are already 3 years old. We are considered children who are often sick and have problems. We are regular visitors to hospitals and clinics. But when you look into those little eyes, you realize that all the difficulties are nonsense. Children born in love are favored by God. And I understand that difficulties are still ahead, but we will cope with them.

I know many will judge me. Like, you yourself take risks and gave birth to children at risk. I don't regret anything. Although due to these difficulties, at the age of 30 my entire head is gray, but this is not the main thing. The main thing is when you love a person and he loves you. And difficulties only exacerbate each other’s feelings. I wrote my revelations rather for those who doubt, like I once did. If you love, everything will be fine.

Now I know what happiness looks like!