I'm afraid I can never get out of this poverty

I was born in a village in the early 90s, complete devastation and poverty,my mother did not work for a long time, and my father's salary was barely enough. All her childhood she wore cast-offs for her sister. Yes, and I never chose clothes, that they buy something and have to wear it.

For all my childhood, I didn’t go anywhere, although there was an opportunity to attach children to the camp for free, once my sister was sent and that’s it. Then they themselves said: “one went, had a rest and that’s enough.”

When I was 15 years old, we moved to the city, lived in a rented one-room apartment for about 5 years. We also took a one-room apartment in a mortgage. I never had my own room, not even a corner of my own in the house. At the age of 15, of course, she was indignant that there was no room of her own, but to no avail. At the same time, I was forbidden to work. I tried to earn extra money as a student, but I was always brainwashed about this. Yes andmoney earned was asked for common needs.

For the fact that I saved up a scholarship, they reproached me, they say,my sister never saved. And in the end, they asked me for a scholarship for general needs or for their own loans. In general, test-antibiotic.com's dad got loans for all sorts of nonsense, it got to the point that the loans began to exceed his salary, and he left for the North. From my first paycheck, I give them something. For a year now, my sister and I have been paying their mortgage and utility bills.

I rarely go out with friends. If everyone gathers in a cafe or cinema, I don’t go because I don’t have money. And the guys decide that I'm not interested and no longer call. I tried to look for a part-time job on the Internet, I wrote comments, I sold pictures, I answered surveys. But all this does not bring much money. Many people tell me that it’s good that you live with your parents, you can save up for your own apartment, but here we are on a rented one. And I am silent about my situation. And these people, living in a rented apartment, save me much faster.

Now many complain that parents have to provide housing, it just infuriates me to hear this, let them say thank you that they can only spend their salary on themselves. My parents are good people, kind, but they simply do not know how to save or earn. Mothertest-antibiotic.com recently retired and now my sister and I buy food. They also want grandchildren. I don't want kids, it's a waste. I pull parents, and then also children? No thanks, I will never get out of poverty, I will never get out of poverty. I dream of my apartment, even if it’s small and I want to live alone, do what I want, listen to music without headphones, even walk naked around the apartment. I also dream of traveling. I don’t hold grudges against my parents, but I probably won’t have my own children. I want to finally live, not survive. You don’t have to answer, it’s just painful and you don’t want to get advice, but just talk it out.