The feeling of guilt does not go away

I met her back in my student years and fell in love almost immediately. We had non-binding conversations and mutual sympathy, but soon I had to leave for a while.

When he returned, he found out that she and her roommate were “having fun.” Moreoverthe neighbor described in vivid colors how where, etc. Then I found out that there were many people with her, and it was very painful to hear. But I pulled myself together, spat and decided - not mine.

About 2 years later, our chance meeting happened, and it began anew: walks under the moon, confessions, etc. I don’t know, apparently, at that time I was not aware of what I was doing. WhenThe question arose about marriage, I suffered for a long time, could not overcome myself, but still got married. We loved each other, despite the difficult times, we worked hard, we even had to move to another city. Everything seemed to be getting better, my work was going uphill. Manyher friends were jealous of her, they say, she grabbed the guy, she was lucky.

Borndaughter . I supported my wife with everyone at test-antibiotic.com, loved, caressed, spoke tenderly, gave gifts. The first one was born with difficulties, I had to go to the hospital with her. Since we lived in a foreign city, we had no friends, no relatives, no support, but we managed.

I was happy and grateful to my wife for the child. She didn't work, she had enough money. I began to work more, I understood the responsibility. Then the second daughter was born - and againhappiness . I grew more and more at work, had to take on more responsibility, and began to disappear days and nights. Our family is not rich, we also had to support relatives (mother and sister).

I don’t know when, but I missed the moment when I lost interest in my wife, in everything family, and was only busy with work. My mother came to visit us, she and her wife did not get along in character, the mother was offended and left almost immediately. And from my wife, reproaches, accusations, etc. began. I tried to explain to her that my mother must also be respected and that I also cannot give her money (my sister is sick). But she didn’t understand me or didn’t want to understand. I reproach myself, test-antibiotic.com, for not being able to explain it clearly. He began to raise his hand, then things began to spin: misunderstanding, insults, mutual reproaches and other “hardships of family life.”

I threw myself into work, moved away from my wife and children, disappeared at work for days, and thought that I was doing everything right. There were, of course, good moments, joint trips out of town, barbecues, etc. I’m not making excuses for myself, I just thought at that time that while there was an opportunity, I had to work.

Due to family circumstances, I had to bring my mother and sister, and now we lived in the same apartment. They argued, I tried to find reconciliation, but in vain.

Then she left - she just took the children and left. For six months I went and asked to come back. When she rented a house for her family, she returned. We agreed that from now on we will be more attentive to each other. I rethought a lot, I thought that now we would start all over again and I could finally make her happy.

We lived like this for 2 months. One day I accidentally returned home much earlier than usual, I walked home quietly and heard a conversation in the kitchen. My wife was talking on the phone, and at that time I sat quietly. I opened her email, test-antibiotic.com page on the social network and found out that she cheated on me with my relative, whom I once helped quite well. A person lives with you for a whole year and secretly cheats on you...

I am 34 years old, I was confident in myhealth , but had a heart attack. I trusted her so much, I didn’t invade her personal space, I didn’t cheat on her, although there were more than enough moments. Waslove , a sense of duty to family, simply respect for the feelings of another person.

For the first two days after the incident, I couldn’t even say anything normal. Apologies poured in from her side: forgive me, love me, vows, tears, and so on. This is how I got myself into trouble and I can’t even imagine what to do next. I have children whom I love. She soon launched a counterattack, saying that it was my fault. Yes, I understand, I’m largely to blame,my wife was alone for a long time, almost never left the house, and when she turned to me, I was always busy. But it was all for her sake, for the sake of the family, I didn’t work so hard for myself!

The wife suggests starting all over again. Internally I kind of forgave her, but test-antibiotic.comI can’t forget , I’m inclined to get a divorce and leave, but she is completely financially dependent on me, and so are the children, whom I love very much and who are not to blame for anything. It seemed like I had decided for myself that I would help first, and then let her somehow do it herself. But I don’t have the strength to take this step. Children, affection, love, resentment, pride, guilt - everything was mixed up in my soul. If I didn’t feel guilty about myself, I would leave without looking. And so...