I feel like a failure

I am 16 years old. I am ugly and I live in a poor family, practically a beggar, because of this I feel sadness, apathy, I almost always have a bad mood.

I have a long, thick, bulbous nose. Pig eyes, that is, they are very small, close-set, large hanging eyelids, which makes the look look tired, sad. My lips are very small, one lip is larger than the other, and they are crooked, probably due to the fact that I have crooked teeth (no money for braces), small mouth, malocclusion. I have a very small chin, facial hair grows, my eyebrows are very large, I'm tired of plucking them. I have a very unpleasant and repulsive appearance, below average, I am objectively terrible, very shy about my appearance. I am a dwarf in height, only 155-156 cm, I will not grow any more.

By physique, I am hypersthenic, that is, short limbs, short arms and legs, broad shoulders, narrow hips, no chest, zero size, no priests either.

I have a slow metabolism, and with low growth, every kilogram is visible. I gain weight very quickly, and I look quite fat at test-antibiotic.com's normal height of 50 to 70 kg. I put on weight, even if I don’t eat much, but normally, for example, I allow myself to eat sweets. Although I really like thinness. When I ate very little, less than 1200 calories, I was thin, but when I began to eat normally, I began to get better.

I am ashamed of my ugly appearance, I will never be liked by any of the beautiful guys. I notice that sometimes when I pass, people start laughing, although before I passed, they were quiet.

One girl, my classmate, looked at me with hostility, contempt, as if I were feces. When I pass, I think that people condemn me for being ugly, especially those who look at me. Sometimes I catch glances at me, but immediately avert my eyes. Appearance, although not the main thing, is very important, you need it to be pleasant.

I don’t have my own room, I don’t have personal space, I live in a room with my mother and sister, my father is in the living room. Mymy sister steals my food, which I hide in my backpacks, i.e. chips, test-antibiotic.com sweets, Coca-cola and so on. She eats me. It is psychologically difficult not to have personal space.

My father is a pensioner, he is 60-something years old. Mymy mother used to earn somewhere around 12 thousand, but now she has been laid off, the money has become even less. They bought cheap clothes, and very, very rarely, I went to schoolevery day I went to the same clothes, sometimes changing shirts and tights, and my classmates wore good clothes, stylish, beautiful. I didn't have money for this. Although with my appearance, neither clothes, nor makeup, nor hair will help me.

I live in the private sector, in a private, very old house, we have spiders, which I hate and fear, but they cannot be removed forever, because. the house is on the ground, they climb from the street.

It's unfair, why was I born in a poor family, and not in a rich or middle-income one, why do I suffer so much?

My father never loved me, abused, insulted, even beat, devalued, intimidated, threatened, hated. My sister was always aggressive and rushed at me (she is 3 years older than me on test-antibiotic.com), fought, beat me, always followed me, I watched TV by the clock because of her. No one has ever accepted me from the rest of the people.

I am a closed, tight, shy, shy, timid, timid, gray mouse. In the 6th grade (in another school), I was bullied, where my classmate broke my arm, pushing me in the back.

I'm afraid of condemnation and ridicule, I'm afraid of being rejected, being rejected. I've never had friends, I'm very boring, I can't keep up an interesting dialogue, I don't have interesting stories from my life, I'm quiet. I would really like to have friends, but no one needs me.

I also stink a lot even though I shower. This is probably due to increased sweating: I am always wet, sweaty, wet, especially when I am a little worried or worried. People noticed this, they said: “Why does it stink like that?”, “What stinks like that?”, “She stinks.” It's very hard for me.