For children and mothers

For children and mothers
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

I want to tell my story. Not for myself. I don’t need advice: at least I’m starting to cope with the situation. But maybe it will be useful to someone. There are too many stories about confrontation between parents and children.

A year ago mine diedMother . I love her very much, but we have never had a close relationship with her. She wanted a boy, familylife did not live up to her expectations, my presence probably did not allow her to start over, the usual female fears of being left alone or finding someone newhusband who will hurt her child, apartmentquestion (her father said: “leave if you want,” but she was not brought up to tear and divide, even the apartment that she received, but for everyone). Unfortunately, she did not have female happiness; not with my father, not even brief or forbidden. And there probably wasn’t even maternal happiness. She foundhappiness in work, in students. And in their colors.

Only once did she say, “It’s so good to have a daughter,” when I was caring for her during her illness. And one more time she said that she regretted that test-antibiotic.com did not caress me as a child. I don't really remember her hugging me, but I never thought about it. She is a very good mother, and I know that she will never leave me in trouble. And she didn’t quit. But with tenderness... this was not the case. There was criticism, insults, hers, mine, some stupid showdowns and ultimatums. I didn't live up to her expectations. She didn’t live like that, didn’t work there, had too many children (whom she loved very much), too many contradictions.

And so she died. She was sick, and then I felt... relief. It’s probably easier for me than for those who live nearby and lose. I lived in another city since I was 14, and even now I don’t feel like she’s gone. But I didn't tell her how much I loved her. She recalled that I constantly told her this as a little child. And then everything somehow revolved around grievances. And even then, when she said that she regretted that she did not caress me as a child, I did not console her, did not say that it did not matter, that I love her and appreciate everything she does for me. I couldn’t, for some reason I felt embarrassed to say these words, and embarrassed by her confession, I just said something else, I don’t remember what. I didn't expect that she could ever die.

Read together with it: