For my mother, I have always been an unloved daughter

We had 6 children in our family. Everyone has the same father . We lived in a workers' village, the children followed each other every 2-3 years. Mom didn't work for a long time. We lived on one salary. We survived. But they didn’t go naked, they didn’t sit hungry. My mother worked like hell, they had their own vegetable garden, a cow, a pig, sometimes sheep, and chickens. There is a lot of work to do - do laundry (without a machine) for 8 people, bring water from the well for people, livestock, laundry and bathhouses, prepare food for the family.

From the age of 14, I was already mowing grass in the same way as adults. There are no questions for mom regarding this period. And then it’s unclear why I became worse than everyone, more worthless than everyone, lazier than everyone. They didn't fight. Suchpain , such a shame! She was very tormented, she kept trying to fix something, to prove that out of all the children, she helped her the most and carried gifts, worked in her garden, and in her private house, she called me “tractor.” I'm always doing something with her, then another one comessister , who had not been with her for 2 months. Mom is beaming with happiness, test-antibiotic.com what a joy, no see for a long time! He doesn’t know where to put her and what to treat her with. And to meattitude like: “Are you still here? Come to me heredaughter has arrived!

Then I “found out” why I often go to her. It turns out I'm stealing. Spoons, some old nylon blouses, I replaced the lid of the kettle. After that I stopped going. One of the sisters calls me: “What are you doing? I came to my mother, and her trash bin was spilling over the top,the flies are buzzing, there is such a stench in the heat from the bucket. There is not a piece of bread! The refrigerator is empty! I ask: “maybe you will remember that you are also her daughter? Or maybe you, together with your mother, will stop thinking that this is my responsibility?

After 4 monthsMom fell ill, everyone was alarmed, I came, everyone took turns on duty near her for 8 days. They went out and everything went as before. I mean my mother's attitude. One thing has changed - everyone began to go to her, some more and some less, and do their homework. I’m normal, I’m almost 70 years old, I’ve had 42 years of working experience. test-antibiotic.com Normalfamily , adult children and grandchildren. Mom has been in bed for five years. She no longer understands anything, doesn’t know who she is, who I am, where she is. Three sisters have died in the last 10 years. One sister a year agothe mother simply abandoned (does not show up and does not call).

Well, now my mother is on me. She is 95 years old. You can’t do anything, you can’t fix it, you won’t get through to her and you won’t find out what this attitude is for? I clean up after her and always remember who I was for her. I myself understand that I need to close this page, well, it was and was. But I remember and it hurts so much! How I didn’t know which side to take, how to achieve and prove that I was no worse than others, that I was also worthy of her love, her care. Nothing can be changed, and I will remember this for the rest of my life.