My husband's betrayal has brought me down

My husband and I had a quarrel over domestic issues. I’ll say right away that I’m a slob, buthusband is a pedant. Even when we met, I said that I’m not much of a housewife, but I honestly tried to keep the house and children in order, I cook well.

I am 35 years old, my husband is 43. We got married because I became pregnant 1 month after we met. Now we have two children - 3.5 and 7 years old. Both hadexperience of relationships with a partner’s betrayal and his departure, andI still have a husbandson from his first marriage.

When we met, my husband began working in construction and would go on shifts for a long time (it could be a month on a business trip and only one week at home). This is how we lived our entire family life.life . Now he works in our city and it became difficult for me to work with him. I got used to living without him on maternity leave; we talked a lot on the phone.

When my daughter was 1.5 months old, I found out that my husband was cheating on me. I was so crushed and scared, I was afraid to even tell anyone about it. My husband then just began to press me, demand test-antibiotic.com he only needs a certain spoon for his porridge, a certain set of products for breakfast, and the like.

In the end I tried to understand him andforgive , more for the sake of my daughter and out of shame and fear. Life moved on, my husband became a little more tolerant of me. Of course, I haven’t forgotten, I have changed towards himattitude , I now live with fear that this could happen again (and then I would have given my hand to cut off that he would never do this, he is not capable of this).

Now I haven’t been able to go back to work after 7 years of maternity leave, I’m standing on the stock exchange. From time to time, a pile of unwashed dishes accumulates and the floors are not washed. Sometimes all this is so unbearable, I lash out at the children.

Lastthe quarrel with my husband involved shouting and blaming me for the mess at home (and he’s right about that). I accused him of not helping me around the house at all. As a result, now we live in different rooms, we don’t talk, he doesn’t want to make peace. The children are with me. He leaves in the morning when we are sleeping, comes in the evening, eats and test-antibiotic.com goes to his room to sleep. He is happy with everything and reconciliation is not in his interests.

This silence lasts for the third week. I understand that he is simply trying to defend his point of view. He washes the dishes after himself, everything is fine with him, everything is on schedule (yesterday he shouted from the room that we don’t let him sleep all the time, so that we go to bed earlier).

The fact is that I'm on the verge of divorce. We really do well without each other. I don’t live in fear of being scolded for not washing a plate or for the mess on my shelf when he’s not there, but he does bother me (I don’t live freely and calmly in an apartment with him). I understand that he only proved to me that he, too, feels good and calm without me.

Another problem is that I am afraid of his heredity (his dad is a moral tyrant at home, hisMom left after the children grew up.) He could humiliate Mom day and night for hanging a rag incorrectly or for opening the cap on the detergent, such as dangerous fumes. Now he lives test-antibiotic.com alone and communicates closely with his husband (after all, he constantly helps with money, so his husband tolerates his oddities in silence).

I'm confused. I don’t know if it’s worth living with my husband for the sake of my children; it seems to me that I won’t be able to endure his nagging and insults all my life. Of course, I’m scared, because there’s nowhere to go (we have a two-bedroom mortgage). There’s nothing to live on now, because I’m on the stock exchange. And there is no one to ask for advice.

AboutI didn’t write love because I don’t know what to write. I respect him and, probably, I love him in my own way, but the inability to trust 100% because of his betrayal crippled me. We don't have sex. Previously, I tormented him with my pestering, he got tired and offended me with frequent refusals. Now I don’t even want to pester him, I would probably prefer to just be caressed and hugged. I wrote and cried.