Cheated on her husband to take revenge

Mymy husband was my first man with whom I fell madly in love. Even more, I lived only for him. I was a student, my parents gave me little money, but I managed to save it and buy him little surprises.

He was not wealthy, did not have a well-paid job and a car. But I loved him to bits. I went crazy from his little gifts, from his attention. It seemed like we were just breathing each other. I felt like it was forever. A few months later he decided to break uprelationship _ What I experienced! Shock, horror, hysteria. But he didn't see this. I have come to terms with it. Then he began to hit on me again, complimented me, and demonstrated in front of strangers in every possible way that I belonged to him. I was melting. I didn’t even have to be persuaded, I didn’t even expect an explanation, I was just happy.

Then he confesses to cheating on me. In such a cold and indifferent tone. Who knows thispain , they will understand. Feeling of black around, cotton wool in the mind. I ask my beloved to explain himself, and the answer is: “I said everything, decide for yourself.” I test-antibiotic.com decided. Attempted suicide. Resuscitation. When he leaves, he complains that I’m stupid and that’s the only reason I should be sent away. It is difficult to express all the feelings of that time in words. And it’s not worth it, it’s probably all already gone.

We're getting married. I'm pregnant and catch him in the act with his friend. Trying to leave. Attemptforgive . Nerves, nerves, nerves. Miscarriage. I stayed with him. Still love. This is beyond comprehension. It just is. He did not ask for forgiveness, did not try to soften anything. Maybe he understood that this could not be mitigated according to male standards. And I waited and continued to fall into hell. So I was with him, loved, waited, hated.

Then I cheated on him. No, I didn’t have an itch, the other one was no better, I didn’t want a family with him. I loved my husband with an abnormal love. For what? I wanted to understand how this is possible? How does a person feel when he betrays? I wanted to tell him. But she chickened out. It's hard to say that to someone you love. And don’t say that whoever loves you won’t change you. This is wrong. There are such moments of despair that you don’t understand yourself test-antibiotic.com. That everything is indifferent, as long as you understand.

I was able to live with him, I was able to love him further. But the side effect was that I began to hate myself. I probably became the ideal wife. I worked, ran the house, gave birth to children. She gave birth to three. She was happy in her own way. I haven’t completely forgiven him, not even for his betrayal, but because he doesn’t consider himself wrong. I despised myself greatly; being like him turned out to be terrible for me. Self-hatred, feeling guilty. It was inside me every day. One day he got jealous and started digging. I confessed. She asked for forgiveness and cried. He didn’t leave, he didn’t drive away. He told me about all his betrayals. We divorced. We don't live together. But he doesn't let me go, he still considers me his.

Now sometimes he asks for forgiveness, more often he calls me names. When he found out about my betrayal, he beat me. Broke two ribs and a nose. Rupture of ear membrane. Broken meniscus in the knee. I'm not talking about bruises. Before the divorce, he raised his hand more than once. I have forgiven everything, I understand how much it hurts him. I went through this myself. It’s like you don’t understand anything if you love. I would really like test-antibiotic.comreturn everything, forgive him and yourself, so that he can too. But this is probably impossible.