How to forgive your husband's betrayal?

Together 7 yearsmarried 5 years,child 3 years old. I'm 31, he's 29 years old. In AugustThe husband changed dramatically, became rude, made many claims and accusations, although in many ways a month later he himself repented, spoke out of malice, and he does not think so. After a couple of scandals, I decided to really change what I was guilty of: lack of intimacy (after childbirth,complexes , overcame them), began to cook separately for him (the child is allergic and cooked what the child could - that is, there was little variety), began to devote more time to him than to the child. After that, he became calmer, and everything began to improve, but no one ever mentioned a divorce.

A couple of weeks passed, but his behavior haunted me, and suddenly he called memistress (colleague from work) and told me that this month he cheated on me with her, that he said that he loves her, she loves him and everything that follows from this. I said that I knew everything: he asked for forgiveness, promised not to do this again, that he wanted a second child in a year. test-antibiotic.com He said that he was trying to assert himself and take revenge on me for not appreciating him. He complained to her about how bad I was (but from her story I understood that he exaggerated everything and even made up a lot of things), she complained about how hard it was for her after the divorce. I decided to save my family. And he has feelings for him, and he loves the child (likehe is a very good father , at that time he of course turned away from the child very much, but now everything is perfect), and I can’t stand on my feet well - I can’t send the child to kindergarten because of allergies, and the nanny is more than my salary.

But I can’t calm down and get over it and accept it. I'm afraid of repetition. In a month of my attempts to establishrelationship , I lost 7 kg, I’m already thin. Now 2 months have passed since I found out about the betrayal, I see that he continues on social media. networks to flirt with another colleague. 2 years ago I saw that he was communicating with her, flirting, but then I took it calmly, thinking that he would never test-antibiotic.com cheat on me. And now, seeing his flirting, it tears me up, I can’t accept it. I told him about this, but he said that he wouldn’t, but when I opened his correspondence, I saw them againcommunication (at the level of who likes what in bed).

He really loves to be admired, to be run around him - this is what he presented to me as the main reason for the scandal, that I don’t run after him, like his and minemother for fathers. I try to do the same, but the fact is that he still continues to communicate with her. I understand that if not with her, then there will be someone else. That’s how we met and started dating (he lived with a girl for 3 years without a schedule, and we worked together and also just talked for 6 months, and then he left her and we started dating, but all our conversations were childish, and there weren’t even kisses ). Now I realized that it will always be like this.

How to accept him this way and live without noticing this flirting, and not be afraid that test-antibiotic.com will change again? He has many good qualities: he helps around the house, helps with the child, is a good father, etc., butbetrayal cancels it all out. I'm exhausted and don't know how to find strength.