How to bring love back into a relationship after cheating?

I read a story here thatmy husband forgave the betrayal, but there are no old feelings, or rather, my husband gave it to me to read, it just made my hair stand on end.

I’ll say right away that I’m not justifying myself in any way, I know that I acted terribly, you won’t tell me more and dirtier words than those words that I’ve said to myself more than once.

Looking ahead, I will immediately answer what you accuse me of. My husband also decided and came to the conclusion that I sent him away and immediately brought my lover to live in our apartment. So, I assure you, he did not live in it even a day, he never even stayed overnight, and at the moment when the husband showed up without a call, without warning, ours and himthe relationship is already over. He just came to congratulate my son on his birthday for a short time; that same evening I was going to call my husband and invite him. But by his arrival, he interpreted everything exactly this way. He threw a scandal, called me the last words right in front of his son, and the son, by the way, didn’t even know that I test-antibiotic.com had a relationship on the side, for him he was just a colleague at my work.

Okay, I'll start from the beginning. Yes, I am aware of my guilt before my husband, and I am not at all trying to whitewash myself, but I will only say one thing: I became a stranger to him even before my lover appeared. Does it say that I nagged him for money? Yes, it happened. With his experience, education and opportunities, he could then earn more; at first we were catastrophically short of money. But I wouldn’t say that we were in such great poverty. But he was attentive and gentle then, I just wanted him to become a more successful person. Through my friends, I helped him change jobs, and then it was as if he had been replaced. In that story, he indicated when I returned him home, how he communicated with me, that’s roughly how it was: “get yourself in order, it’s disgusting to look at you, and so on.”

You know, a kind word is also nice for a cat, I forgot from him when I heard beautiful words. As he described heresex, test-antibiotic.com that I’m like washing the floors, well, when you’re in bed with you, it’s like an inflatable doll, so you’ll adjust. I tried with all my might to break through this wall that came between us, by the way, here he said that I dyed my hair, changed my hairstyle and wardrobe, this also happened before my lover appeared, I did this for him, but he did not appreciate it. He just said: “Oh, Lord, what have you done to yourself? Don’t you have anything to do?” And the fact that he had an affair with the wife of the head of the security service of the company where he works, he really said, we just talked as friends, the most I could allow myself was light flirting. Knowing her reputation, I doubt that this was the limit. She’s a married woman, but she doesn’t let a single handsome man pass her by. Well, not caught, not a thief, okay, swallowed. So I took on the image of this painted lady, hoping that he will pay attention to me. Quarrels in our family have become normal; our only joy is our son. In general, I’m tired of fighting the same wall at test-antibiotic.com and playing at the same goals. She gave up on everything.

Well, now about the lover. We worked together with him, at first we communicated just as friends. He supported me both morally and psychologically, there were many common interests. In fact, I never even thought about building a relationship with him. My husband himself pushed me to this, with words like, who needs you besides me, and who will look at you. Then he became for me a vest or something, an outlet, most likely. Ask me if I loved him? I told my husband no. Passion, interest and sexual attraction, yes, but I didn’t feel love for him. If I had fallen in love, I would have left my husband for him without a second thought. Passion, rather, yes, passion, there is no other word for it. In general, I got on the side what I lacked at home with my husband.

Yes, in that confession he exposed our correspondence, what a masculine act! Get into your phone and put everything here for everyone to see. Didn’t you test-antibiotic.com realize that I deliberately did not delete these messages so that you would at least somehow begin to notice me. ANDmother , and Tanya did not warn either. If I hadn't wanted this, he would never have known about anything. After that difficult conversation when he presented it to me, I was even ready for a divorce, because I didn’t see the point in saving the family. But about living separately, it was more his idea, not mine, and he suggested that I move into a rented apartment. To which I replied that if I move out, I will take the child and things and go to my mother forever. By the way, after he left for a rented room, I also ended my relationship with my lover, although he insisted on a divorce and that I and my son go to him.

He asked how I was doing and how was my son? Lie! For three weeks I never asked. Did I forbid him to see my son? Well, if he was told that he was on a business trip, how would he test-antibiotic.com see him occasionally? Coming back from a business trip to sneak a chat with your son? Stupid. The fact that he wrote to me “hello, how are you” didn’t suit me either, believe me, it’s hard. After my son's birthday, I really had a terrible timedepression -loneliness , feeling guilty before my husband, I understand that I should have solved the problem or got a divorce, and not seek solace in someone else’s bed, I sincerely repent for this stupidity, this was the biggest mistake I made in my life. I'll probably blame myself for this for the rest of my life.

Yes, I cried all day then, which resulted in bruises and bags under my eyes, plus several sleepless nights. I really wanted to throw myself out of the window then. To be honest, I’m not going to blackmail him, everything I told him is still valid, he wants a divorce, for God’s sake. Yesterday I suggested going to a psychologist.

Do I love him? She loved, loved deeply, and there was still something left at the bottom of her heart.