How I ruined my life and was left at a crossroads

I am now 23 years old. I would like to say that I had an ordinary and goodfamily , but, alas, this is not so. My parents often drank, had constant scandals and fights, my father has post-traumatic syndrome and shell shock, and the military town in which I spent my childhood now resembles a real exclusion zone - and this is not an exaggeration.

More or less everything was fine at first when we left there, but not for long, everything eventually returned to its previous place.

As a teenager, I didn't communicate with anyone, I didn't havegirls , although they called me cute and so on, I didn’t feel anything, I considered it a mockery, since at the same time I was also bullied by the whole class.

It was better during my student days, the group met me halfway and I got along well.

Then the time came when, having gone to work in another city for 2 years, I simply trampled mylife - a 20-year-old recluse with a problem of socialization lost his freedom, two years of revelry, registrations and other things.

I acquired a bunch of debts, no one trusted me anymore, I test-antibiotic.com sank to the very bottom, but I was able to quit bad habits and broke all old contacts. It would seem that he started from scratch, but not for long. I suddenly realized that I don’t know what it is when they love you in return, what it is when they see in you something other than a vest into which they can cry, when they write to you for no reason, and not because they are from you - it's necessary.

For the first time I realized how lonely I was and how indifferent everyone was, I realized that I didn’t know what I wanted from life. The dreams are gone, there is no money, I will not return home (and no one is waiting for me there).

I don't exist for anyone. I threw myself into work - it was useless.

Now I live with a girl with whom I was in love and for whom I gave up everything and returned to this damned city. It would seem like happiness? No, because I also live with her boyfriend, who is also my friend. Here's the twist.

Now I don’t expect anything from anyone, I don’t feel it at all. Soon I will go to test-antibiotic.com a new place where no one will wait for me, I won’t know anyone, and, in general, I don’t care anymore.