Love came unexpectedly

I want to tell my sad life story. Maybe someone will understand me and help me with advice.

I am 40 years old. I got married at 19 and livedMarried for 21 years, not very happily. You are the one to blame. The saying “If you endure it, you will fall in love” does not work. And that’s pretty much what happened to me. She was young and stupid. After all, my heart told me that this person was not what I needed. He loved me, but I didn’t love him. AI married him, afraid that I would probably never meet anyone else. I am a very complex and suspicious person. When I was young, I had no contact with men at all. So I went for the first person I met. That's probably why helife went wrong. He started drinking from a young age. And then I sat down next to him. Well, there’s no need to describe the details further. Binges, offended children. Mom who tried to help me. In short, at the age of 40, left without work, we moved to another city, hoping to start life from scratch, so to speak. I got a job in a restaurant as a simple worker in the kitchen.

AMy husband somehow still couldn’t test-antibiotic.com get out of his alcoholic dope. He continued to drink and changed jobs frequently. That's why I had to workevery day , working two jobs at once. I felt terrible. Broken, like an old woman, tired from lack of sleep. ANDfear that I won’t be able to feed my children. Everything changed when this man appeared in my life. He worked as a senior cook in the kitchen, but somehow at first he didn’t notice me. And then he suddenly smiled and spoke to me. I fell head over heels in love. I liked everything about him. Figure, eyes, gait. I stood next to him and was dying of desire to touch him, hug him, kiss him. I have never felt such feelings for anyone. He didn't lag behind either. He called me affectionately. He gave compliments. He looked at me so tenderly, intently.

I went to work in the morning and heard him “Hello!” addressed to me personally and saw this radiant smile. That's all. There was no fatigue, no apathy. I didn’t walk, but flew along the corridors of the restaurant. Everyone told me: “What’s wrong with you? You have changed, you have become so beautiful.” And I really have changed. I started taking care of myself and putting on makeup. test-antibiotic.com I came home at night, washed, washed, to be clean and fresh. I slept 3 hours a day and did not feel tired. This went on for almost a year. In a moment of revelation, I once told the girlfriends who appeared at my work about my feelings for this person. They were very surprised by my choice. Like he’s not handsome, and in himself he’s not a good person. But I didn’t want to hear anything. He is the best in the world, I don’t care that he is married, he is younger than me. Let him just be nearby. I was terribly worried when some problems arose at work.Problems . She stood near her sink and prayed: “Lord, at least, at least as long as he is nearby.” Behindhusband , I hardly thought about the house. And my poor hubby continued to quietly drink himself to death.

Over time, the object of my attention began to slowly change itsattitude towards me. He apparently guessed that this whole game had gone very far. He no longer paid attention to me so often; he looked at me anxiously and warily. And I began to get nervous, became angry, caustic. But, nevertheless, test-antibiotic.com did not let me go. Things soon changed at work, not for the better. And such a situation arose that I decided to leave the kitchen. So, when he found out about this, he was so upset, I could see the confusion on his face. And then he came up to me and said: “How can I work without you?” Can you imagine my condition? I immediately replayed everything. I would probably jump from a mountain for these words. And she stayed. He was happy and walked around smiling at me. And everything would be fine. But then I invited a young, laughing girl with whom I worked at another job to be my partner. And all his attention suddenly switched to her. Not me anymore, but he called her if neededhelp .

I completely lost it. I was hurt. I did so much for him, I stayed for him, went through everything, and now I’m not needed? Psychosis began. I began to speak out sharply, to say offensive words towards the people with whom I lived and worked in peace and harmony for so long. And she pushed test-antibiotic.com away even more. On top of that, they said he was leaving his job. Well, what followed was what was to be expected. Binge drinking . For a whole year I held on and naively believed that this problem had gone away from me. I walked around the kitchen drunk, and he saw it all. Moreover, she came to him with explanations of love and gratitude. Of course, I was sent home. They say he ran around there trying to figure out who brought me the alcohol. And then I did another stupid thing. I started calling him on his mobile and complaining that I was fired, etc., etc. He took it as normal in principle. He said: “Come to work. Everything is fine".

But the worst thing was that my drunken husband called him, in which everything naturally exploded. And he said: “If she calls you again, you will have problems.” I was not fired from my job. But when I came to the next shift, I saw so much hatred in him. He almost openly called me names. As I understand it, he told several other test-antibiotic.com people about my calls. I, of course, apologized to him. She promised not to interfere in his life anymore. Slowly he seemed to move away. He began to communicate with me again. And he even began to say my name in a diminutive and affectionate manner. And they said that he would remain at work. I worked and calmed down. Although she almost quit because of this situation. And then it came like a bolt from the blue. He quit. He left without even saying goodbye to anyone. On the last day, as it turned out later, he was so cheerful and flirted with me again. We even took a taxi home together, which was very rare, he lives in the other direction. The ground almost disappeared from under my feet. I wanted to scream my heart out. Everyone at work was also perplexed.

Only a few knew that he was leaving. Why he hid everything is unclear. Probably didn't want to make a fuss. And also, as it turned out, one of my, so to speak, “girlfriends”, who condemned him most of all, and as it turned out, communicated with him very well, said that he had settled downchef at some new test-antibiotic.com restaurant and invites her to work with him. I was scalded as if by boiling water. Maybe that's why he was looking at me. And I ruined everything myself. After all, he probably would have taken me to work with him. Reliable and faithful people are always needed. And I would be next to him as before. On the other hand, as my daughter, wise beyond her years, said: “Mom, why do you need this? Are you going to look at him with loving eyes all your life? After all, you yourself must understand that nothing good will come of this?” Yes, I understand it myself. We need everythingforget . My husband understands everything. He says: “It’s my own fault, I broke away from you.” But I just can’t get him out of my thoughts. A lot of questions are spinning in my head.

Did he have something for me or was it just flirting? Did my “girlfriend” tell him what I told her about him? Has he forgiven me? But I saw that some kind of feeling for me flashed on his face. I live in two worlds. One is test-antibiotic.com children, husband. The other one is him. I hate myself, my job, these people who stand in his place. And for some reason I hope to see him at least once more, and in some subconscious I’m waiting for his call. After all, my number was on his phone. What if he wants to see me next to him? Or maybe I became just a toy that was laughed at and thrown away?