No one has ever loved me

Just as I was born at an unhappy moment, I still suffer. Not loved in childhood, not caressed, did not know what good people werefamily relationships . There was constant pressure at school due to health problems, and there was no support at home. My mother thought that since I was watered and fed, everything was fine. And so, it’s me who is so bad, worse than everyone else, as I constantly heard from her. With my grandmother, they always washed my bones, as if I were actually a monster. No one was interested in the fact that I was feeling bad, I was scared that my hysterics and neuroses were not my own.guilt .

At school until the 9th grade I wore a headscarf, I suffered from alopecia (and still have it, unfortunately, it is incurable), daily bullying and insults, tearing off the headscarf from my head took their toll. At home I was rude, rude, I had constant nervous breakdowns (which no one wanted to understand), I decided that I wasn’t worth living. In the seventh grade I made up my mind and took two handfuls of pills. There was no particular regret; going to school every day was worse than death. test-antibiotic.com But nothing happened, I was only slightly poisoned. Nobody knows anything until now. Then I decided that opening the veins would be easier. I didn’t finish this either, something stopped me, but nothing stopped me from cutting my hands and looking at the droplets of blood.

I was not loved by anyone, I was not needed by anyone. I read a lot of books and listened to music, loved to draw and wanted to play a musical instrument. All my insignificant attempts to get down to business were thwarted by my mother’s words: “why do you need this or you don’t have talent.” Yes me tooI didn’t express my love for anyone. I wasn't taught this. So mine went furtherlife , where it is easy for others, is hard for me, where it is hard for others, is unbearable for me. I don’t know how to build relationships, I can’t stand people for the most part, I don’t trust my husband, I can’t give warmth and love to my children. I suffer from panic attacks, self-doubt, I don’t know how to make my life better, as if I have no strength left. I do not want anything anymore. No matter how hard I test-antibiotic.com tried to change something, in the end it still turns out that “you are the worst of all.”