I'm ashamed that I'm not like everyone else

I understand that my story is not the most terrible, that there are situations that are much more complicated, but, nevertheless, this worries me very much. I'll start from the very beginning.

I was born not like everyone else, “thank you” for this to the doctor who “qualitatively” took delivery from my mother, as a result of which I now have hands withproblems . The problem is that there is a tremor in my hands, which creates great inconvenience for me in life. For example, I can’t go to some kind of celebration where I have to raise a filled glass and people will notice my problem, it’s just a shame, so I have to refuse such offers.

For most people, a feast isholiday , and at such moments I want to fall through the ground. Further, my problem also affects the letter, it is very difficult for me to give it. Although I am already 32 years old, my handwriting remains like that of a first-grader, it is very difficult to make out it. In writing something, the problem is probably more acute than in situations with glasses, you can at least refuse to go to visit, but with filling out various test-antibiotic.com papers, this will no longer work.

Therefore, I have to either take someone with me so that they write instead of me, or invent stories myself that I forgot my glasses at home, and without them I can’t see anything. Yes, there were also such cases when I still had to write myself, to which I heard that since I write like that, I must be sick in the head, disabled. I also have to choose a job not the one I want, but one in which my hands will not be a hindrance, i.e. I can’t work where I have to write where I have to write (and I have to write almost everywhere). Therefore, I am very afraid of being unemployed.

In my personal life, too, everything is very sad. It so happened that having lived to this age, I did not have a serious relationship. It just somehow happened that, apart from a slight sympathy for a person, I had no other feelings. I didn’t want to be with someone by force, convincing myself that feelings would come, it only takes time. For me ifthe guy initially didn’t hook, then already test-antibiotic.com you shouldn’t expect a miracle thatlove will come. I couldn't even kiss with them. I had no interest in them. It is clear that they needed completerelationship , but I could not give them such a relationship, and therefore, I had to leave.

And now, I am 29 years old and I understand that I have disappeared, I have fallen in love. I knew him before, but I just didn’t pay attention, but then everything changed into one, I began to look at him with a different look. And every time the next meeting took place, I realized that I was being drawn in more and more. Naturally, I did not show him that he was interesting to me, but on the contrary, I began to avoid him. But it was not so bad, the trouble was when I constantly met him somewhere, as if everything was happening out of spite. 3 years have passed and it turned out that he also has an interest in me, which he hid. Well, I realized that this is mineman . But I can’t be with him, I don’t want to spoil his life with myself. I don’t want test-antibiotic.com to come and visit friends with him, he was ashamed that I was not like everyone else.