My familiar world has collapsed and I don’t know what to do

Mylife has been filled with disharmony since childhood, as I understand now. My father had certain viewsmother of completely different people. As a result, I didn’t even notice how my mother’s life position had completely taken root in me.

Of course, I love her very much, but I understand that in life she never got what she really wanted. As a result, my mother was diagnosed with schizophrenia, I am now very grateful to my father that after all these “not childish” squabbles, he did not abandon her, but continues to help and did not leave the family.

But at the same time, consider that I lost my mother, since people with such a mental disorder are no longer the same (those who have encountered this problem will completely understand me). My world collapsed.

I still can’t accept my father; he has almost no interest in my life. Yes, myselfThe girl is specific, has not the most wonderful baggage of the past, but this is life and I am not surprised. I am familiar with esotericism, I know how to get out of a state of complete unwillingness to live, but I return just as easily. test-antibiotic.com Advice in the style of “go to work and get a boyfriend” does not work. Everything somehow went much deeper. The funny thing is that I gather my thoughts, and then about an hour passes and everything is basically lost. Maybe I’m sick myself and don’t even suspect it? Jokes aside, I wouldn’t want to live my only life under daily introspection and reproaches that I’m not what I see as that “happy person.”