My sad and hopeless life

I am only 21 years old, but I have already become disillusioned with life, I have lost my goals and guidelines. I wanted to write my ownConfession to just talk it out. Maybe it will become easier.

I have never had a happy family, which is so popular in films. She looked normalfamily (mom , dad, brother and me), but gradually everything went to pieces,without love , understanding and support, which should be between close relatives. Dad sometimes beat Mom, she endured all this for no apparent reason. Then the drinking beganproblems with money.

Then my parents divorced and divided my brother and I between ourselves, like things: my brother began to live with my mother, and I stayed with my father. My father never loved my brother, and after the divorce he always turned me against my mother and wanted me not to communicate with her.

When I just graduated from school, I didn’t have much choice either. To enter the university you neededmoney , and a lot of it, but dad said that I was already an adult and it was time to earn money for myself. So I’ve been working since I was 19, test-antibiotic.com, without any prospects for career growth, in a position I hate and in a quarrelsome team.

Then a new woman appeared in my father’s life. I didn’t mind, I understand everything - a man can’t do without a woman, but I just can’t stomach this person. She always climbed where she was not asked, and secretly did various nasty things to me, upsetting my already less than idealrelationship with father.

My brother died in 2013. I was shocked, I still can’t believe it, I cry when I think about him. Dad soon sold the house and now lives with his mistress in a rented apartment. I live alone, rent a room, and try to find a more interesting job with a higher salary. But so far nothing is working. I'm tired of thinking about how I'm going to live next, I just gave up.

On the personal front, not everything is rosy either. I'm quite pretty and slimgirl , but that’s not enough. There is a young man, but our relationship with him is very strained. I love him and deep down I understand that he test-antibiotic.com wants to see a successful, cheerful girl next to him, but how can I be happy when there is not enough money even for the most necessary things?

I almost talk to my momevery day , but she can’t help me with anything specific. I realized a long time ago that I have no one to rely on except myself. But how hard it is to carry everything on yourself, not seeing prospects and light at the end of the tunnel...