My hard and hopeless life with a child

It all started with moving to another city. I lived with a man, and as expected by the law of meanness, an unplanned incident happened.pregnancy . I returned home to have an abortion, but remorse andThe fear that I would no longer be able to have children still took over the mountain. Besidesthe child’s father , despite my terrible toxicosis, was against abortion, persuaded me to leave him, would help with everything, calledmarried _ But the damned toxicosis did not give me the opportunity to even think about the wedding, let alone prepare it, so I refused marriage with all my might. We ended up having a premature baby.baby , only six months old. It was another monthhospital .

Unnoticed by me, I began to hate this child; I cannot bring myself to love him. His dad refused to help until I registered the child with him, but at the same time he did nothing to make me do it. On the contrary, all these months I was on my nerves, and I was losing my temper and throwing tantrums. I wrote a refusal to give up my child more than once, but I didn’t give it up, because I would have been mineMother would be eaten alive. And test-antibiotic.com would constantly remind me that I abandoned the child, that I am a worthless woman, etc. During pregnancy, I felt constant pressure from my mother and his father, which also did not add to the joy of motherhood.

3 months have passed since the birth of the child - my father dies. The child’s father continued to press and press, insisting on the wedding and recognition of his paternity. NowMy mother cannot help me, since she is either at my grandmother’s or at work, and I rarely find her at home. Therefore, the child is completely on me.

I have thought more than once about giving the child to his father, because... could not withstand his pressure. Now my half-blind grandmother, and my infant child, and my mother and her work - everything has fallen on me and everything is poisoning melife . And also her reproaches that the child needs to be given more attention. And it happened to me that I was with him for three days, and all these three days I could even approach him, because I got tired of his whims and howling.

Now test-antibiotic.com my mother has reproaches that I am sitting on her neck. The children's money is not enough, so I found a job that I like (albeit not very prestigious), but it pays well and works from home. I now earn 2 times more than child benefit. I like this job, here I rest my soul, I feel needed and important, even when I get sick, I work because I earn more than my mother at her job. Of course, there are breaks to eat, to subdue my son, to change diapers and all that, but even here there are constant reproaches from her that I pay little attention to the child. I’m ready to check out of her apartment so as not to reproach her, but where should I live then?

Grandma died. Although I didn’t give much, I gave for the funeral, and so on, little by little. She constantly reproaches me for this apartment, where I and myson is registered. I don't care about my grandmother's inheritanceapartment , because it will never sell, and I don’t want to live there. But I will be forced to leave here quickly.

It seems to me, test-antibiotic.com, that my mother is just a toad of pressure, that I work and strive for independence. She needs me to be her toy, to be complex and downtrodden, and she would reproach me. Even when I hinted that I wanted to send my child to kindergarten, she was categorically against it. But he can’t sit with his grandson, or rather, he doesn’t want to.

And the child is constantly capricious and cries without a break, he’s already fed up with it. I have a feeling that they both want to drive me to my grave. I do not know what to do. For now, I want to earn money to take over my grandmother’s apartment and get out of here as quickly as possible!

I want to improve my personal life, but it just doesn’t work out. I'm afraid that I'll fall in love, maybe I'll even get married and give birth, I'll love that child, but not this one. Don't know. He hangs over my head like the sword of Damocles and makes my life difficult and hopeless.