Is it possible to forgive a returning husband?

My sad life story has been going on for almost a year now. Back in the summer, I accidentally found out that mymy husband is cheating on me. He said that he had long wanted to tell everything, but was afraid of my reaction.

They work together (and continue to work together, which naturally worries me very much). All this time, while my husband was cheating on me, he was drinking terribly, and I had long suspected that something was wrong. He gradually moved away from me, his phone was password protected, and he was late at work. Theirthe relationship lasted almost six months, so he drank all these six months while he was at home, and went to work with her already sober. I tried to talk to my husband seriously and frankly. We always had a trusting relationship (three children, 17 years together), but he avoided talking.

As soon as I found out about everything, I tried to understand the reasonsforgive , did not swear and did not throw tantrums with accusations and reproaches. I wanted to save the family, I thought that he was confused, that he would understand his mistake. But he apparently didn't need it. The husband became angry, aggressive, and started drinking again. I didn’t test-antibiotic.com stand it and kicked him out. Of course, before he left, I cried for a month, begged himforget her, I was humiliated (now I’m very ashamed). But we still broke up.

For three months he lived with a friend, continued to drink, call her (shemarried , they have four children). If he called me, it was with insults, he said that he didn’t love me, he just constantly asked me to meet with the children. I didn’t let him in, and the children (they are already teenagers) didn’t want to see dad and were afraid of him (in front of them, he even raised his hand to me).

In the end I applied fordivorce _ He didn’t fully believe that I would do this, he insisted on divorce himself, but he didn’t believe it. I slowly began to pull myself together and realized thatlife exists without him. I am only 37 years old, I think that this is not old age and I would arrange my life, although I still love him very much. I didn’t call him, I answered his calls every other time and then in a rude manner (I was very angry with him).

And after 3 months he test-antibiotic.com appeared with the words “I love her, I can’t forget, but this is a love spell, help, take me back.” I, a fool, wiped his snot and almost forgave him. At first we began to communicate a little, but he still lived with a friend, but came home. And then I found out that she just blew him off, that’s why he came home.

I was never able to forgive him. Not for betrayal, but for the fact that he still wanted to live with her, it was not he who left her, but she who left him. I felt disgusted. Then he was caught once again corresponding with her on social networks, but she did not answer him. I kicked him out again, he came again 3 days later with an apology. I love him, so I let him in again, I felt even more sorry for him. Now he doesn’t communicate with her, doesn’t call (I quietly check my phone - I’m embarrassed, but I want to know the truth), he tries to be attentive and caring. But I continue to cut it, because... I can’t fully forgive his hypocrisy. I love him, but I regret giving him a second chance.

Now he is not drinking test-antibiotic.com, he has big plans, he is going to build a house, etc. She tells me that there is nothing between them, they say, we don’t even say hello to her. I know this is true because her husband got a job there and “protects” his wife. But I still can’t calm down. How to forget and forgive this? Did I do the right thing by letting him come back? Am I really just a reserve airfield, and there was great love there? We were once a very friendly family, we went on vacation, consulted with each other even on small things. And now? I don’t really depend on him financially; the property, of course, will have to be divided if there is a divorce. The apartment is shared, but is registered in his name. But I don’t want a divorce either - I hope that he will forget everything, and I will get over everything. But is this possible?

Sorry for the chaotic writing - emotions are over the edge, I want to speak out. I will be glad to receive any response, even if you throw tomatoes at me.