My husband knows that I don't love him

I am 42 years old. Married for 16 years. Two children. Before marriage there was a very strong mutuallove . They felt so sensitive that they understood each other without words. Our views, interests, tastes were like one whole.

We were not an exclusive couple, there were quarrels and disagreements. But the main thing is that they never became an obstacle to the desire to be always together. For two years they lived, without signing, in the same apartment with my parents. We saved up for the wedding, even saved on food. But they separated stupidly - they had a fight two months before the wedding. In a scandalous frenzy, I showed him the door. He got angry and went to his parents to spite me.

Neither he nor I took that quarrel seriously. But himmy mother , who categorically did not accept me, “lay down” so that we would not start living together again. MyAfter the departure of their loved one, the family did not want to hear anything more about him and his family. Our resentment towards each other quickly passed, and after a while we both became convinced once again that we couldn’t test-antibiotic.com without each other. We were drawn to each other like a magnet.

We quickly made peace, but we couldn’t live together as before: our relatives boycotted us, we didn’t have our own home, and we didn’t even have money for a rented room. Both he and I were poor students then. We tried to hang out with friends, just met. I began to notice thatWith each date, my beloved moves more and more away from me. Then he suggested breaking up completely. He said that oursThe relationship is no longer the same.

The breakup was unbearably hard for me. His “breakdowns” were even worse: he called, lay in wait at the house with flowers, swore his love, said that he was going crazy without me. I couldn’t live without him then, I simply existed. For me, his returns were like a chance to start all over again. But after a while he disappeared again or said that we couldn’t be together. And so on for a year.

It was impossible to find out why he was doing this to me. All attempts ended in his irritation and annoyance that I had kicked him out the door. All this time I hoped that test-antibiotic.com we would graduate from college, find a normal job, and everything would work out. In vain. My soul was so tired this year that I decided to stop everything myself. The efforts ended in a nervous breakdown. She loved him so much that she couldn’t live without him. I found out that I was in the hospital, rushed over and sobbed on my knees by my bed. Every day he came and visited. They talked about the future, planned, confessed their love to each other.

I left the hospital, he called and said that hemother is seriously ill. Her last condition is not to have any relationship with me. He resigned himself. I cried. I changed my phone number and found a good job. There he started courting meman _ I immediately said that I loved someone else. He continued to court. A few months later I found out that my beloved got married. Out of desperation, she began to accept courtshipColleagues , we have become close. He calledmarried _ She refused. And then I decided to get pregnant andgive birth for yourself.

When the futureMy husband found out about the child and carried me in his arms. I began to “thaw out”. I so badly wanted a family, normal human relationships. Relatives and friends vied with each other to praise him. We submitted an application, I moved to live with my future husband. test-antibiotic.com A week before the wedding, I suddenly meet my ex-man at our house! And all over again: “I can’t live without you,” “I love you,” “I left my wife,” “I finally quarreled with my mother,” “I agree to everything, just come back.” I cried, but firmly asked not to touch me again. She spoke honestly about marriage and her future child.

My husband did everything he could to protect me from my ex and keep me calm. My husband told me this: “we talked like men, he understood everything.” My husband loves me very much. I have nothing to reproach him for, he is attentive, caring, adores children, does not limit either money or freedom, is a god in bed, and takes into account my opinion. While I liked it, I worked, I got tired and left, he didn’t say a word against it. He worked two jobs until his career was successful.

After the birth of my son, I said openly that I didn’t want to take care of the house. Two weeks later a housekeeper started working for us. I easily go to meetings with friends, and I don’t have to report where I am. Immediately after the wedding, I firmly determined that test-antibiotic.com as long as I am a married woman, I will never cheat. He is confident in me, and we have never had any jealous hysterics. If he is jealous, he tells me about it right away, without hurting me in any way and without demanding anything in return.

All these years he knows that I don't love him. But at the same time, I respect this man very much, I admire his love for me, for the children, for life, I enjoy his presence, his caresses, his closeness. People around me think that I pulled out a lucky ticket by marrying such a man. And I would think so if I loved him as much as I love my man from the past.

So many years have passed, but I still remember him. And I continue to love. Of course, I don't have any hopes. 16 years ago I burned all my bridges myself, and now I don’t blame anyone for anything. Sometimes I only dream that maybe someday I will meet him and find out that his love for me continues to live.