My husband doesn’t care about me, that’s why I decided to cheat

I have been living with my husband for 10 years and have two children. For the first 5 years, he treated me very badly, abandoned me, kicked me out of the house with my first child, and did not protect me from his mother’s attacks. But in my 20s I had to fight with a 50-year-old woman for attention, for dishes, etc.

Friends were always important to him; he humiliated me in front of them, pushed me, and sent me away rudely. I talked with my ex-boyfriend, purely as friends, there was no close communication, I talked because I ran away from him down the aisle with my husband, I feel very sorry for him, but I didn’t love him and wouldn’t love him.

I tried to ask him to change, not to go to friends, to spend time with me, but friends were more valuable. Then I lost interest in him, I wanted love, attention, affection, care.

I am prettygirl , men paid attention to me, but I didn’t look at them, and so I started looking. But many people I just talked to wanted permanentrelationship , that is, as lovers. I was and am afraid of this, test-antibiotic.com I can’t do that. One day my friends and I went to a cafe, a lot of guys came up and talked, but one found mesocial network and started writing to me. Offended by my husband, offended by his indifference, I succumbed to his temptation and began to communicate online.

About six months passed, and we met in the same cafe, he spoke sweetly, was kind to me, his eyes shone when looking at me, I was pleased. He offered to sit in the car, talk, and started kissing. Since my husband didn’t like kisses at home, I was very excited by the passionate kiss, I was already pretty drunk, he sank lower and lower. It was winter, but from desire, from tenderness, I did not feel the cold at all. In the end, we had nothing, he said, only if I wanted it myself. I was very afraid, I felt both unpleasant and pleasant. We corresponded after that meeting, but didn’t see each other again, and soon after my refusals he wrote less often, and I started writing myself, thinking that I had hooked him, and I didn’t want him to forget me test-antibiotic.com.

At home my husband was not interested in me, so I was very upset by these thoughts. And then one daymy husband found our correspondence with him, left home, there were many scandals. It seems like I haven’t physically changed, but still. At first I was ashamed to tell him this, I admitted that we kissed. Then she told it like it is, he didn’t understand, but admitted that at the beginning of the marriage he also cheated on me with a girl of easy virtue, whom his friends picked up for everyone in the bathhouse. I could barely digest it, at that time I was babysitting a 4-month-old baby and now he blames me, reproaches me for myact , says that he had it without feelings, but for me it’s different.

I’m tired of enduring his reproaches, maybe someone has had this happen, tell me how it all ended. I love him, and the children love him, but it’s hard for me when they blame only me, when I myself have sinned, and even at a time when I needed him. I tell him about the boomerang, which hit twice for his action, so he blames me even more than before, I don’t even know what to do.