I don't feel rewarded in relationships

I don't feel rewarded in relationships
Photo is illustrative in nature. From open sources.

I've been dating a girl for 3 years, I'm 23, she's 24. We have goodrelationships , we spend a lot of time together, we have common interests and hobbies, we have similar views onlife , we are each other’s first (in every sense). Both have no bad habits, we get along with our parents - she with mine, I with hers. But there is a fly in the ointment in this ointment, and that’s what I want to talk about.

I don’t feel any return or reciprocity from her in the relationship. More precisely, there is very little of this. How is it shown? I really like to give gifts, make all sorts of surprises, look after and care. I am like this by nature, and this is how it is in our family. I don’t feel sorry for her money, time and effort. Not because I want to show how wonderful I am, but simply because this is the kind of person I am and for me this is a completely natural manifestation of love. For example, I can write her a poem because I want to express my feelings beautifully; I often give her flowers just like that, and even more so on holidays. If theremoney test-antibiotic.com - I invite her to cafes, restaurants, cinemas, when she comes to me, I often cook myself or order something tasty. Every minute I want to do something nice for her, I once went to the other end of town to get her favorite cookies, because I wanted to find just that, I get pleasure from it when I manage to please my loved one.

When we first started datingthe girl was very modest, shy, very shy about everything. I fell in love with her, began to pay attention, applied various romantic ideas and ideas that had accumulated over many years of loneliness, tried to show that I could be relied upon, that I kept my word, I simply tried to make every day we spent together happy for her. I expected the same from her, that she would “wake up”, surround me with her feminine affection and care, treat me with all sorts of delicacies of her own making, make various sweet surprises, listen to my hints or wishes, and be attentive to her promises.

At first there was nothing of this from her, she was uptight and shy, so for the first months I attributed her passivity precisely to the test-antibiotic.com character traits and the fact that she was simply not used to me. Over time, of course, these things began to appear, but it was so insignificant and imperceptible that one could say that nothing much had changed. She started cooking something (and it was quite good, I would even say it was delicious), but this happened very rarely, once every 2-3 months) and only after I asked myself and reminded her a few more times. Because she says: “of course, I’ll do it on the weekend, now I have work on weekdays and don’t have the energy or time,” and on the weekend she already forgets. Sometimes I started giving some gifts (except for holidays, such as Birthdays or New Years ), and showing mutual activity, but this was so little and so rare that I was simply offended.

After a couple of years of our relationship, the situation changed, but not that much. This began to specifically bother and upset me, so I decided to talk to her frankly about this and tell her about all this. She was very surprised, she was even outraged that I had not told her test-antibiotic.com earlier, she was upset that she offended me with her behavior. She talked about the reasons for this, said that it was customary in her family that no one would do anything until they asked, that she was like this. It wouldn’t even occur to her to think of doing something like that, some kind of surprise or gift, showing some kind of concern or thinking once again about what her loved one would like right now. She said that she would try to pay attention to this, and over time the situation really began to improve, but still the result is very far from the desired result.

She said, if you want something, and you see that I don’t understand and don’t do it, tell me straight, don’t be shy to ask, I’ll gladly try to do it for you. But I can't do that! Why doesn't she have to ask me for anything? Why do I think in advance what she would like? Why do I always think about how to please her? Why should I humiliate myself in front of her and ask for care, affection or some gifts or surprises? How should it be? What should I say: “Darling, you test-antibiotic.com know how much I’m looking forward to the release of such and such a game. Maybe you’ll give it to me because you know how much it will make me happy?” or “Listen, you know how much I love to eat delicious food, and the last time I ate a dish you prepared was two months ago, maybe you can cook something? You are still the future mistress.” So what should it be? I don’t understand at all how you can ask for attention from a person who loves you.

I don't know how to take all this? Is she really the kind of person who just can’t figure it out on her own and needs to be constantly poked and won’t be offended by it? Or maybe she’s just selfish and it’s convenient for her to be loved, but she doesn’t want to do anything herself? Or maybe she just doesn't love me?

Even after several years, feelings for her are still seething in me and I try with all my might to show her this, to show my care and that I always think about her, I think about making her feel good with me. I don’t know if test-antibiotic.com chose the wrong girl after all, or spoiled her with too good an attitude towards her, or if she’s just selfish.

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