I can’t forgive myself for not helping

March 5, 2021 is one of the worst days in my life. Now I hate myself even more.

On another weekday I went to the train to go to work. Friday. Early morning. Dark. The snow is falling. The eve of March 8th. Good mood. And then in the darkness I see that a dog in a collar is sitting on the tracks, and there is blood on the snow next to him. I stood rooted to the spot and don’t know what to do. Train in 5 minutes. I have to go to work because I’m opening a warehouse and no one can replace me. And I love animals very much, I felt sorry for her.

Everyone was walking by, and I started calling him. He walked towards me, and I saw that two of her paws were mangled, as if they had been in a meat grinder. The dog walked towards me and fell, walked and fell. I grabbed her by the collar and dragged her into the snowdrift. I'm shaking, but I need to get to work! I went.

I called my mother in tears, saying, go see her, see how she is, and cover her with something. After I shipped test-antibiotic.com to everyone at work and was left alone, I began to be hysterical and did not know what to do. Drop everything and go to her or about herforget . The tears didn't stop. The snow began to fall more and more heavily. Cyclone.

I still drop everything, call a taxi and go to her. It’s surprising that a taxi was called, because in such a snowfall you can’t wait for them, and it’s a long way to go. When I arrived to her, she was lying almost covered with snow, but covered with her mother’s jacket. She was very weak. Of course, so crazypain and cold. The wounds were terrible. The dog is not large, but I was afraid to take it. I didn’t know what to do, I had to go back to work and save her, I called animal clinics - they refused. There is no hospital. The taxis were unlikely to take me with her, especially in this weather. Yes, even if they were lucky, they would suddenly refuse, and then where would I go? I only have a couple of thousand rubles in my account. No friends. There is no car. Her mother didn’t really need her in the house. I saw that she was already dying.

I could have brought her home, I could have placed advertisements in groups, and some volunteers would have responded. The desire to save me struggled with the thought that no one would help me with it.

I decided to go home without her. And then she returned to work. For a couple of days I went to work by other routes. It was painful for me to go there. I knew she was lying there dead. On March 11, I went to the train and she wasn’t there.

It's March 15th. And I don’t understand why I didn’t decide to save her. She was waiting for this. I came up with a bunch of excuses for myself. I knew that my conscience would eat me up. No one but me would do this. Nobody needed her. And me too. Yesterday my brother's friend found out about this dog. I said a word about her. It turns out that he is a volunteer and rescues dogs. Lives where I do. I could call my brother, and my brother could call him. But then I thought that he wouldn’t help.

Now I can't live normally. I'm cryingevery day , she is before my eyes. test-antibiotic.com I wrote a letter of resignation. I'm sick of everything. Push. I left a living creature to die.