Don't listen to talk about the happiness of motherhood

I am 23 years old. I was not happy when I found out I was pregnant. And I have mineMy husband also had mixed feelings about the unexpected news, because this was not part of our plans. But then I was happy.

When I was 7-8 weeks pregnant, I had an accident. I was admitted to the hospital for conservation, but was soon discharged. During pregnancy there was no toxicosis or swelling, only stretch marks. She ate everything she wanted and gained 20 kilograms, which is why she couldn’t dress or put on her shoes properly. But everyone gave up their place and let me skip the line, I even got used to it.

Natural childbirth left a strong negative impression. At 11 pm I was given a catheter for stimulation, and at 6 pm contractions began at small intervals of 2-3 minutes. They immediately sent me to the maternity ward, looked at me twice and said: “That’s it, it’s time.” But then things got bad.

During contractions I tried to chew on the bed. I couldn’t walk, so they brought me an inflatable balloon and allowed me to sit on it. But I was uncomfortable, I wanted it to end quickly. The head of the test-antibiotic.com department came because I started pushing, but my dilation was not increasing. It's too early, but the process has already begun. In the prenatal ward, a wooden bumper was screwed to the wall next to the bed. When the last contraction happened, I tore it off the wall and then attached it back so that no one would notice.

5 hours earlier, an ultrasound showed that the baby had a double entanglement in the umbilical cord. I was told that I would have to have a minor operation so that I couldgive birth During labor, I closed my eyes. It is better to do this, otherwise the capillaries may burst from tension if you push incorrectly. When they told me to open my eyes, they took out my screaming joy. They began to unwind it, and with each turn the manager’s eyes became bigger and bigger. It turned out that the umbilical cord was wrapped around the neck four times - this is very dangerous. Everyone was simply shocked that the child was not born blue, without pathologies or breathing problems.

After giving birth, I immediately said that there would be no second child. In the ward I learned that I couldn’t sit, I could only lie down. And go to bed without sitting down. test-antibiotic.com How to feed? It was very uncomfortable. I arrived home within 24 hoursthe milk disappeared and I was forced to switch to formula. I was lucky that my son got a cheap one: 400 grams for 4 rubles, enough for 3-4 days. And there is also an expensive one, where the same mass costs 25–27 rubles.

Formula is when you can prepare food and not have to worry about not having enough milk. Babies eat within one and a half to two hours, mine finished the mixture in 15–20 minutes, and I was free. He doesn't hang on his chest for days. It can also help with the mixturehusband , but not with breast milk. But the downside is that you had to get up at night, pour boiled water into a bottle, and heat it in the microwave. The child was crying, and only the pacifier “muffled” the sound for a while. I was tired of washing bottles so that there was no milk left anywhere and it would not turn sour. In a half-asleep state, you need to measure out the water, notforget how many spoons you poured, otherwise you have to pour it all out and start again.

They helped memother , grandmother and husband. At first he thought thatthe child was fed and put to bed. test-antibiotic.com Made a complaint about what I didn’t prepare to eat? And then I was left alone with my child for the weekend and realized what it was like, that there was basically no free time.

When the baby was six months old, I began to feel like I was a mother. It was when the child began to reach out to me. He still can't sleep unless I give him my hand. He fiddles with his fingers, sticks his nail into my pillow, but I endure it, because this is how he falls asleep.

They say about motherhood that it’s so cool, you sit on maternity leave, feed the child, put him to bed, he sleeps on his own. Nothing like this. Maybe someone is lucky if the child sleeps all night. But I was unlucky: I fed him at 9, 12, 3 and 6. I just closed my eyes, and he wanted to eat again. Not everything is as rosy as it seems. It was hard when I didn't get enough sleep. Screams, but I can't help. I feed him, rock him in my arms, then he cries again.

Then I lashed out at my husband too, I was nervous. When the child cried, I felt angry inside. I understood test-antibiotic.com that he was a child, but something inside me refused to accept it. To be honest, I thought I was the only onea mother who is indignant when the child cries. In the films they show how my mother jumped up at night, cheerful, with a manicure and makeup. And here your head is dirty, you can’t wash it because you don’t have time. At night, your husband comes, you hand him the child and go to wash.

Perhaps others don’t want to say that they also have hopelessness, or maybe for some it’s not so. A friend gave birth to a boy, and a year and 20 days later, a girl. The distance between children is tiny. She's happy and wearing makeup on social mediaEvery day he posts photos of dishes. With one child, I manage to cook a complex dish when the child is either sleeping or with dad. But somehow she succeeds, and I kept thinking: how cool! But when we had a heart-to-heart talk, she said: “You have no idea how difficult this is. Not only is one child small, there is also a second one, and a third husband. Everyone needs attention, everyone needs to eat.”

I wrote my ownconfession togirls who are just test-antibiotic.com going to give birth understood how difficult everything was. Being a mother is not so easy.