I don't know how I can continue to live

I'm 20 years old, I'm youngmother of two children: son 4 years old, daughter 1 year and 6 months. It so happened that we divorced our ex-husband a year ago, ourthe relationship was quite complicated. We lived in a rented apartment and he put me and the children out on the street. Having moved in with my parents, I found peace, but not for long.

Since childhood, I grew up without a dad; my stepfather could never replace him. He doesn’t like that I’m in an apartment with children who run around and sometimes cry at night. He says that he is tired of this noise, although we live in a 2-room apartment. Now I am on academic leave to care for my child, and I cannot continue my studies, much less work. My son is enrolled in kindergarten, andOur daughter is still small, they don’t take us to nursery. So I can’t provide for myself and my children, let alone pay rent. I’m even afraid to look in the refrigerator, because it will be counted who ate how much.

Six months ago I met a man 10 years older than me. test-antibiotic.com Having learned that I have two small children, he was not afraid of difficulties, but time passed and he began to drink. He said that he overestimated his capabilities. He said that I should live by his rules. I valued him very much, the children called him dad, but after packing my things, he sent me to my mother. Mom , of course, is not against me living with them, but admitted that she is clearly not eager to see me here, because there is a lack of money and food. Sends me to work.

I want to work, but who should I leave the baby with? There are no girlfriends as such, relatives do not help. And perhaps most importantly, Ipregnant _ Let them throw tomatoes at me and say that I don’t know how to protect myself, but nothing can be changed. I told my ex-man, he said that he didn’t need it. I decided to have an abortion, the period is 5 weeks, I am very scared. I simply cannot raise three children alone, and my parents obviously will not support me. I am morally killed, I don’t know how to continue to live. It feels like this is just a nightmare, or I’m not living my life.

The only test-antibiotic.com joy is my children, they are my everything, for them I live, spin, spin. We do not have centers to help young and pregnant mothers in our city. I don’t know who to turn to, I’m afraid that my children will be taken away from me and they will assign me the status of a “socially disadvantaged family.” I am very tired, tired of betrayal and lies. You just need to get through it somehow, but it’s very difficult and difficult.