Neither here nor there

In 2012, I met a woman who was 10 years older than me (I was 24 at the time). She didn’t have children, we had a great time together and I more than liked everything. Then I thought long and tediously about whether it was worth building with herrelationship , in the end she invited me to live with her. We lived like this for a year, and I proposed to her. Somehow it happened naturally.

During the past year, nothing critical happened, at some point I even fell in love with her, she was dear to me, and I knew that she needed me. Another six months later they got married.

Very soon a measured familylife began to kill me, my feelings for her faded away. Disgust and apathy even began to appear. I talked about divorce, she turned everything into a farce. In March of this year, we moved into my apartment, after which life together finally turned into hell.

In May of this year, I met a girl for whom I have had a crush for quite some time. She wasI'm married to my test-antibiotic.com best friend, so I still didn't dare take the first step and tell her about my feelings. But somehow everything started to work out and we slept together (at that time we had already agreed with my wife that we would divorce, so in fact it was not cheating on my part).

Over the next 2 months, we seized every free minute to see each other. Something happened that, in principle, could not happen to me - I fell in love. I didn’t even notice when this man became dearer to me than my life.

At the moment I am at the stage of preparation for divorce, but the samethe girl I fell in love with decided that she no longer needed me. In the end I am left alone. Loneliness doesn't bother me, but what scares me is that I don't see the point in life without thisgirls . I can’t imagine myself without her at all. And ready to howl with anguish.