Poverty has brought our family to a standstill

I am 20 years old, I live with my parents. Mythe problems started 4 years ago when we moved to another city. It should be noted that ourthe family has always been on the move from city to city, from one rented apartment to another, due to a very poor financial condition, which is deteriorating to this day.

For 4 years now, I have been suffering from apathy and constant fatigue (for no reason). I sleep a lot, I leave the house only when necessary, there is no physical activity due to weakness (although I have always been an active person, I once went in for sports). A large number of doctors examined me, so from a physiological point of view, everything is in order, except for minor sores. Over the years, I have already come to terms with my problem, I just try not to think about it and live like a plant.

Because of the financial condition in the family, there are often scandals over trifles (by the way, there is only enough money for food and every little thing, plus it’s hard to rent an apartment, we buy clothes once a year). Most of all, the father shows himself in this. His condition test-antibiotic.com can be described as not quite adequate. That is, he can behave very aggressively: knock over things, scream that he already wants to die from this hopelessness, etc. I understand him, in principle, but it all affects me very much. At times like these, I just want to disappear.

I must say that his aggression has always been present in our lives, but now everything has become much worse (he does not engage in assault, however). He forbade and forbids me to do something that he does not like, although these prohibitions do not make sense. And now, when the time has come for me to “go out into the world”, start my life, start helping my parents, I just can’t do anything. This situation depresses me more and more, because it looks like a dead end. I can't go to work, because I'm still studying, and my strength is not enough to combine. Also, I feel that my studies have not given me anything and will not give me anything, even though I am an excellent student, so far. And you need strength and time to engage in self-education, but I don’t have them. So test-antibiotic.com that, I already rule out that I will be able to work in my profession at a job I love, at least in the near future.

Однако ж все, о чем я сейчас мечтаю, это уединение, чтобы никто мне не мешал просто лежать и ничего не делать. У меня нет желания развиваться, общаться с людьми, заводить друзей, отношения. Эта вся обстановка в доме вызывает у меня ужасно негативные эмоции, иногда меня бросает в дрожь от звука очередной кинутой на пол вещи, разъяренного крика, иногда я боюсь за себя, потому что не хочу чувствовать боль. Мое состояние беспокоит родителей и вызывает еще большую агрессию в мою сторону со стороны отца, который хочет, чтобы я выходила из дома и общалась.

Much has been said, but still not enough. I really hope someone will give me a direction. Please do not advise me to go in for sports and communicate, I cannot, it is very difficult for me to be among people in general, while I am sitting at home. Perhaps I need to move out? Make it your main goal. But then I will have to abandon my studies, and this is the last course.

Talking to his father is also pointless, his nerves are on edge. I want to say that in this situation I absolutely do not want and can not do anything. I just got into a vicious circle: I feel bad, and in order not to feel bad, I have to move out, and this requiresmoney , so I have to work, but I can't work because I feel bad.