Confessed to her beloved that she had cheated on her and paid for it

I haveson , he is now 4 years old. Ex hasdaughter , she will be 8 years old. My ex (we've known each other since 2014, we started living together in 2015). The age difference is 15 years, he is older. He was afraid to let me get close and when he felt that he was getting attached, he walked to the left. He did this more than once, denied the fact of betrayal looking me in the eye and told me that everything was serious and good with us.

We broke up about 3 times for sure, I even took things to my grandmother. But we parted as “friends.” After a while they asked how he was doing, etc., then the keys to his apartment turned out to be in my possession, and everything resumed by itself. The last time we broke up was in 2016 at the end of autumn. After a while, I got the keys to his rented apartment. I came to him at his request, often stayed overnight, we went out with the children on weekends and nothing changed. No one started talking about the relationship between us. That's how we lived.

In 2017, he mentioned that civilian test-antibiotic.commarriage is not serious for himrelationships don't mean anything. I then jokingly told him: “Now it’s clear what we had.” And that same evening he said that our relationship did not oblige him or me to anything. He is free to date whoever he wants, because he didn’t promise me anything, and I, in turn, can do the same. It hurt me. My son has been calling him father for a long time and their relationship is good, but what all this was for was not clear.

I started a servicenovel . This was not in retaliation and was far from the plan. It all started with communication, soon they covered meproblems with family and the words of my ex couldn’t get out of my head. I gave up on everything and entered into a new relationship, but with my mind I understood that this was bad. The guy hadwife andbaby , and I love my ex. Why did you do this? I forced myself to get involved in a new relationship, I wantedforget your ex (or rather, dull your feelings for him, get away from problems with test-antibiotic.com relatives).

After I decided on an artificial relationship, I didn’t tell my ex anything and, moreover, I continued to visit him (we no longer had intimacy with my ex). Spent the night and receivedhelp when he left for a week and allowed me to live with him, because... I couldn’t spend the night at home because of my relatives. And he left some money. Most likely, it looks like I was with my ex just for money, but that’s not the case. It’s difficult and time consuming to explain this to you, strangers. Just rule out the possibility that I was with him for the money.

I didn’t talk about the new romance, deep down I was hoping that my ex would start the conversation. I was waiting for some changes. 2.06.17. I have learned thatpregnant _ A child from an ex, I think no one will argue that a woman knows better who the child is from. I know for myself exactly whofather . My first reaction, after I “moved away” from the news, was almost unequivocally - to have an abortion. I didn’t see a future with my ex, nothing has changed, and in addition to test-antibiotic.com everything, I’m having an affair on the side. INhoney _ the kind woman in the center refused to takemoney and urgently asked me to think about my desire (she said that I did not want this abortion). She was right, I just didn’t know how to live with all this anymore.

I wrote to my ex so that he would not bother me, because... I havea loved one (by the way, in recent days my ex has often written to me, but I often ignored him). And a little later, after reply messages, I wrote that I was pregnant. And we decided to meet and talk. The result of the conversation: the ex realized that he loved me, and I also told him that I loved and love him. He decided to accept and understand the betrayal (it was hard for him to wrap his head around the fact that I had thus decided to forget him). We decided to start a new familylife with a baby.

After 8-9 hours, I write to an employee that I really miss my lover (we’ll call him that). When my ex read this message (and he read it a few days later), he categorically refused to believe that I love him test-antibiotic.com. MineI explain my action by the fact that I deliberately immersed myself in an artificial relationship and could not quickly get out of it. And if you consider what my ex and I discussed all evening and nightthe future (I found out that he loves me, we agreed to get married, we will have a child together) is a huge shock. Having compared the past and what was happening that evening, I did not believe in what was happening and naturally, the next day, I refused to believe in everything. And I wrote that I miss my lover, because... this relationship is new, and I forced myself to believe in it (switch).

Exactly this moment, when my ex and I agreed to live together, and 8 hours later I wrote to an employee that I missed her (I wrote this to her for two days in a row) influenced everything. My ex doesn't believe that I love him. Although everything can be compared, I suffered a lot from him, I havespecial attitude towards him. He replaced my parents, after all. I sincerely loved him, but he doesn’t believe me.

What would you do if you heard test-antibiotic.com such an explanation? What would you do in such a situation? I am writing this to understand the opinion of men. Nothing will happen to the ex, that's more than 100%. But I want to understand whether my explanations are really so absurd?