The past haunts
This story happened to me when I was 16 years old. I foolishly lost my innocence to a scumbag I barely knew. True, then I felt some sympathy for him ... A few days after this event, he offered to meet and picked me up with his friend, whom I did not know. Everything after that is like a nightmare. We arrived in the forest near the city where we lived, drank a little, after which, apparently, considering that I had reached the condition he needed, he began to persuade me to have sex, but I refused. He began to insist. Then his friend came over, and I realized that everything was planned. It's hard enough for me to write this. In general, they began to threaten that if I refused, they would let me “handle” the company, supposedly waiting for them at the hotel. I refused until my "boyfriend" started the car to take me to his friends.
I replayed this horror in my head many times and thought, maybe I still had a choice? Test-antibiotic.com did not dare to tell anyone. And after some time, he was imprisoned for 8 years for gang rape, with some unfortunate one he brought everything to the end ...
18 years have passed since then. I got two higher educations, I have a wonderful job,husband and wonderful children. Outwardly, I look confident enough, but, of course, no one knows that I carry this story through life like a stone that does not allow me to straighten up. Someone will say that she herself is to blame, but I myself live with this feeling of guiltevery day . Sometimes I look at my children and think that they deserve a normalmother but not me.
And this freak got out of prison, started a family and imagine (!) Works in the authorities. Sothe question is , let me be to blame for my juvenile stupidity, but who is he ?! Lord God to punish me and break my life?
Today in the morning I again dreamed about this story. I woke up terrified and with a feeling of endless helplessness. I can't do that anymore. Will I ever forget it?
Read together with it:
- Divorce became the only way to make my dream come trueI have lived with my husband for over 35 years. We have three children - two daughters andson . I worked a lot during my life. I almost never had a vacation. I wanted my children to always have the best. I spent almost no money on myself. But I often admitted to myself that I really wanted it.Apart ...
- My mother-in-law insulted me and I can't forgive herIt also occurs to methe question of whether to make peace or not with the mother-in-law, as in the author's story about a quarrel and reconciliation with his daughter-in-law and son.My husband and I have been together for 19 years. We have two sons. At that time, we lived in a rented cozy house, whe...
- My parents' behavior during quarantine made my husband angryWhen my whole family found themselves in self-isolation, I was somewhat happy. There was never enough time to rest,communication with children. And household chores have piled up.Once the shock of fear of the coronavirus had worn off a bit, we enjoyed doing nothing. But the idyll didn't last long, a...
- My father is a gigoloMy mother's husband isgigolo . He earns 10 thousand, he can't even provide for me, my sister, and my mother. At the same time, they gave birth to two children (me andsister ). ThereforeMom can't get a divorce because we live in the house that she once bought for Dadmother , the house is registered t...
- My granddaughter's bad parentsMyThe son and his wife lived for only two years. However, they managed to have a child, whom heThe wife took it for herself after the divorce. The granddaughter was only one year old at the time.The divorce was difficult, in court they voiced a banal reason - "their personalities did not get along"....
- Why do relatives act like this?It is very painful when loved ones, such as brothers or sisters, betray you.We had a large family , I am the youngest. My mother died early, and we were left with my father, who drank a lot. My childhood was difficult, and I only had a school education. All the older ones grew up and moved away in d...
- My husband blames me for his unfulfilled dreamsI experienced a midlife crisis myself. After 16 years of marriage,My husband accuses me of all mortal sins. It turns out that I am to blame for his failure in his career, for not building a house and buying the car he dreamed of. Although my salary has always been higher, and my contribution to the ...