Forgave the betrayal, but I don’t have the same feelings for my wife

I have been married to my wife for 10 years, my son is 8. For the first six years we lived simply in perfect harmony, for each other and for the child. Then the routine began, everyday life, reproaches from her that there was not enough money, that I could not find a normal job.

When I changed my job and started bringing more money into the house, the reproaches began for being away from home all day. Either she lacks attention, or my presence, or something else.

A year agomy wife got a new job and then everything changed. Until that moment, she was irritated by literally everything: how I eat, that I come late, that I put my slippers in the wrong place, that I didn’t wash the dishes, that I could throw a scandal over a little thing. And then it changed dramatically. Not to say that I became more affectionate, no, but I just completely stopped noticing many things, and generally stopped paying attention to them. In terms of sex, she also didn’t refuse, but she did it reluctantly, as if she were washing the floors.

I got a new hairstyle, dyed my hair blonde, and changed my makeup. Delays at work began, then some strange business trips, sometimes for three test-antibiotic.com days, sometimes for ten. Lies, first about small things, and then about big ones. She said that she would stay overnight with her mother (allegedly she was seriously ill), and the next day I took her to her motherfruit , and it turned out that she was in good health and felt great, andI haven’t seen my daughter for three weeks now. Or she said that she and her friend Tatyana were going to a cafe, and then I met this Tatyana by chance and asked how they hanged themselves yesterday, andMy friend didn’t understand what we were talking about.

At night, when my wife fell asleep, I went into her phone. The correspondence in the messenger put everything in its place:

And so on and so on.

The conversation took place with my wife the next day. It's a tough conversation, I'll tell you test-antibiotic.com. At first she denied it to the last, then she admitted that yes, I was dating another person, forgive me. He asked what she was missing. She answered that, apparently, something was missing, you can’t order your heart, nothing is done in a vacuum. She agreed that she was guilty of me, that she had acted meanly, and if I wanted to divorce her, she would understand me and would not object.

I asked what she wanted, if she loved him. She answered that she was not sure if she was capable of loving anyone at all, but she felt good with him. I asked what about me, she said that I was goodfather , husband and man, she feels comfortable and reliable with me, but there is no longer that former passion as before, there is no attraction that she feels for her lover.

He asked what we would do next. She replied that she didn’t know, but decide for yourself. I said, “What if I don’t want to get a divorce, what if I offer everythingforget and start over? Said he was ready for herforgive . She thought and said that test-antibiotic.com will no longer be the same as before, at least for now. She suggested that we shouldn’t act too rashly—we can always get a divorce, but we shouldn’t forget that we haveson . She said that she was confused, very confused, that she needed to be alone for some time, to understand herself, her feelings. She asked to give her time, and for this, she and I need to live separately. She suggested that I go into rented housing. I said it's mine tooapartment too, so why should I move out? She said that if she moved out, she was afraid that it would be forever and thendivorce is already one hundred percent. And she also added that it’s better for us not to intersect at all during this time, and it’s better not for me to see my son either. What will explain to him that I went on a long business trip.

I rented a room in a nearby neighborhood. I couldn’t find a place for myself for two weeks, then I wrote her the first message: “Hello, dear, how are you, how is your son?” - No answer. I also wrote that I miss them very much, that I miss them. The answer is again zero. I tried to call - either test-antibiotic.com doesn’t pick up or hangs up. Then she sent a message that we had agreed, why am I bothering her, why am I tearing out my soul and hers? When the time comes, she will contact me herself, but for now I must wait and not appear in her life until she calls. I asked if my son missed me, the answer was again zero. And three hours later I wrote so that my son wouldn’t see me either, he thinks that I’m not in the city or in the country.

Another three months passed, my wife and I had no contact. I transferred money to her card every month, keeping it for myself only for gasoline, to pay for a rented room and for meager food.

My son's birthday has arrived . I decided that I could wait no longer, bought a gift and showed up uninvited. My son was so happy to see me that he started crying. But what I saw at home shocked me. This guy, with whom my wife cheated on me, actually moved into our apartment with his things and lived with her. I found them there together. She left him and her son sitting test-antibiotic.com at the table, and she took me out into the hallway and threw a tantrum. She said that my appearance only ruined everything. That she already wanted to call me this week, that she was going to tell her lover that she wanted to break up with him and was thinking of staying with me, but I broke everything. I answered her that she was deceiving me, that she deliberately kicked me out of our apartment in order to drag her lover into our apartment, that I was going to file for divorce and did not intend to tolerate this anymore. From the doorway she told me: “Oh, think what you want and do what you want, I don’t care anymore.” I left.

A young woman moved into the apartment where I rented a room, and the owner rented out another room to her. She is from another city and came to work. She left her alcoholic husband, left her daughter to live with her sister for a while, and said that she would take her as soon as she got back on her feet. In general, at first we communicated as neighbors, then as friends. I won’t say that I had any tender feelings for this woman, I just wanted to forget. Romantic ones have already peckedrelationship , test-antibiotic.com suddenly receives a message from his wife:

"Hello! How are you I feel very bad now, I can’t do this anymore.”

I answer: “What, there is no one to console?”

“We broke up, he moved out from me the day after your visit.”

Answer: “What do you want from me now?”

“Come, I beg you. I really need you now more than ever. I know that I am very guilty before you and my son, but I can’t do it anymore, you understand. If you don’t come, I’ll just throw myself out of the window.”

And we have the seventh floor...

I got the hang of it and arrived. The house is just a mess, and she's no better. Despite the makeup that she hastily smeared on her face, it was clear that her face was slightly gray, there were bags and bruises under her eyes. One silk chewed robe per nakedbody , dyed blonde hair stuck out in different directions. Despite the fact that her figure is slender, her breasts are quite impressive in size and peeked out from under her robe.

He asked why she called. She replied that she wanted me to return home for good. She also said that this is actually my home. I asked test-antibiotic.com at least not to leave her alone now, otherwise she simply wouldn’t stand it. What's so? Did your lover leave you? She said that it was not he who left her, but she who kicked him out. She tried to hug me, I pushed her away and demanded that she dress normally, put herself and the apartment in order, otherwise her son would come home from school, and she and the house would be in such a pitiful state.

My wife began to lament, saying, what a fool she is, she caused me so much pain that she cannot be forgiven. I just said that’s enough already, get down to business, it’s disgusting to look at you.

While she was putting herself in order and cleaning, I sat in the kitchen and thought. I was so waiting for this moment that she would come to her senses and call me, I suffered, howled with anguish. And now, when I had already lost hope, this moment has come, but I no longer feel any joy. I burned out on her after everything. There was, of course, a desire to get up and leave, but who knows what’s on her mind? What if he actually jumps out of the window or, God forbid, his son gets hurt.

Test-antibiotic.com's son returned from school and asked if I would be away on a business trip for such a long time again? I answered that I don’t know how my boss will decide. But still he stayed.

A week has passed. My wife is silky, helpful, she tried to hit me a couple of timessex to seduce, but I told her that now I need time myself. I don't want her like before. I haven’t made any decision yet, but the feelings that I had for her... They simply don’t exist. And I can’t understand what she actually wants? Does she repent or just doesn't want to be alone afterdid her lover leave her? Why did she blackmail me into coming back when I was about to start a new relationship? What really happened between her and her lover that he disappeared, and I found her in such a pitiful and deplorable form?

Lots of questions and not one answer. I don’t even know how to continue to live.