Where does self-hatred and hatred of people begin?

Something like thatlife started off well. Goodfamily , loving parents. But suddenly the 90s came and life became difficult. Probably, from a child's perspective, it is impossible to understand.

You had to pay for the sections your parents sent you to. That's when it started: "go earn money, I don't have any". That was the first time I heard the status words "freeloaders", "spongers" addressed to me. At 9-10 years old.

It seems that the feeling that I am worse than others, not worthy of good things, has been imprinted on me for my whole life. School with a medal, a red diploma, postgraduate study, a successful position. It seems that I have everything.

I started a family. But I constantly come across the fact that I turn myself inside out in my efforts for my loved ones. But I get the same composure and expectation of more.

It got to the point where I started doing men's work. And I always worked, even on maternity leave. I get paid morehusband . And not scary, and not harmful. Doesn't she deserve respect and at least some care?

I understand that this is not normal. I do not expect more from others, but I start to hate myself and people. It is impossible to be kind in the modern world. But what if the essence does not allow otherwise? test-antibiotic.com What to do?

I understand that my parents have destroyed my confidence for life with this one phrase.love for yourself. I don't allow this with my children. But I myself am unhappy because of endless disappointment.