With my appearance, I'm happy even with such a relationship

Of course my answer isthe question comes with practice and experience. But where do they come from if I’m only twenty and have been struggling for a long time with the complexes and problems instilled at school?

I’ll say right away: I’m ugly. Incorrect facial structure (problems with taste, the upper jaw is in place, but the lower jaw is missing four teeth, and it is two centimeters shorter), the skin is oily in places and acne is caused by poor nutrition. Due to constant hunger strikes, the natural plumpness has not gone away, but due to the use of hormonal hormones, it has only intensified. With a height of 1.7 meters, I weigh 70 kg, and it annoys me.

I was bullied at school, firstI made love a laughing stock in front of the whole crowd, saying that a creature like me is simply incapable of being liked by anyone. The result was three years of complete seclusion, hysteria, an attempt to commit suicide and cut his face so that the surgeons could assemble it relatively correctly. I still hate my reflection in mirrors.

It so happened that I was born into a middle-income family, but I still learned to dress properly and use the right cosmetics to hide test-antibiotic.com my shortcomings and became such a tomboy. I went to live in another country, and I return to my hometown once every six months. It was in this that I gotboy . Or rather: formally we have been dating for six months. But I don’t understand how a person really treats me.

He comes from a poor family, raised by his mother. He kicked his stepfather out of the family because he beat them. He was imprisoned for theft instead of a friend. Nine years of education, works at a factory for three rubles and fifty kopecks and absolutely does not know how to run a household. However, he is a kind, brainy and rational guy who is simply extremely unlucky (just like me, so our meetings are just a ball of bad luck). He knows how much sugar to put in my tea and at least he doesn't shy away from me.

But, to be honest, several points bother me, namely:

We've never had a date. So that he pays attention only to me for at least half an hour. Usually I come to him and do the washing of the floors, cooking, cleaning and other joys of everyday life, test-antibiotic.com to keep myself busy at least a little. He sits in computer games, occasionally taking a break tobeer or tea and hugs with me. Sometimes it seems to me that I’m just some kind of accessory in his apartment. As soon as I leave the country, they start to blow my mind with hysterics, quarrels, breakups, pleas to return, complaints about how unbearable it is without me and threats to commit suicide or kidnap me. But when the period of psychosis passes, they stop even writing to me. He hasn't answered his phone for months and I don't know if he's okay. Then it’s my fault that he doesn’t know anything about my life. He constantly shoots money until salary and, naturally, never gives it back, because he can’t get out of debts and loans (his salary is barely enough to pay rent, utilities and buy bread and cigarettes home). I'm temporarily not working and give theseI can’t always get money . For some reason, it is in front of him that I am ashamed to admit that I simply do not have the amount he needs. After receiving the money, he may disappear for a week. Sometimes it even seems to me test-antibiotic.com that all he wants from me is money. He constantly talks about how he wants children from me, he wants a family with me. But at the same time, I have to give up all education and live with it, because Russia is the best country in the world, where I was born, I came in handy there, and in general - in Europe there is only debauchery, trash, hardcore, sodomy and they will kill me, rape me, rob me.

And yes, I love him, despite this television garbage and the lack of education in his head. But sometimes I really don't understand, does he love me? And if not, then should I get away with my appearance or take what they give me, sit and be glad that I was chosen?