My husband and I live like strangers

With the beginning of our family life, it so happened that it was I who began to distribute the family budget. I added up both of our salaries and distributed them to the most important needs, and saved the rest. Exactly how I distributed it was always agreed upon with my husband. And for several years we lived like this, it suited him. They used the saved money to make large purchases, go on vacation, or spend it on unexpected expenses.

But gradually scandals began to happen more and more often. My husband didn’t like that the family budget was in my hands. I didn’t like that after going to the store I constantly remind him to put the change in a certain place, I ask him to slow down a little on car trips (we don’t fit into a certain amount), I don’t like that I don’t leave him extra money. Perhaps I'm not entirely right, but it was a necessary measure. We are not very good with money, we have to pay off some debts, as well as save for an apartment. If we don’t delay, the opportunity to buy our own apartment will get further and further away.

I also cut myself a lot. For many years test-antibiotic.com I have been wearing the same clothes and shoes. If there is an urgent need, I take used things. So is he. We can’t earn much, although we are exhausted, well, there’s nothing we can do here, buthusband and doesn’t want to hear anything.

For some time now we have had separate budgets. I was tired and waved my hand. We live temporarily in my aunt’s apartment, renting from her at a price below the market price. For this, as well as for rent andproducts - chip in. The rest is separate. I am still saving with my money. He does what he wants with his own. He buys all sorts of things for his car, spends it on entertainment, and drinks on weekends. I earn much less, so I still don’t take anything for myself.

They began to live like neighbors. Due to constant domestic disagreements, everyone cooks for themselves. He only cleans up after himself. And then, it is often necessary to prove with a scandal who exactly scattered things, did not wash the bathtub after themselves, and who exactly should clean up. We sleep in different rooms, since I can’t sleep test-antibiotic.com next to him. He snores heavily and doesn’t want to go to the doctor about it. Blames me for everything. I began to cry often, constantly on nerves, in a bad mood. I go to doctors, they offer surgery according to indications, but I am very scared.

I feel completely alone. And I feel constant guilt. At the beginning of our relationship, everything was different. And here... My husband seemed to no longer need me at all. At the same time, he often tries to control me. He always asks me to tell him where I am, where I went, and what time I’ll be back. He calls it caring, but I only see control in it. He often reproaches me for being inattentive and unkind. That the intimacy is over. He reproaches me as if it were my direct responsibility towards him.

And I just stopped feeling any desire. Even the desire to live. Live like this. There is no meaning, no love, no dreams in my life anymore. I became like a shadow. I don't want to go home, I don't want to go where he is. Again gloomy, irritated and angry. All attempts to talk end in a quarrel. I love him, but it seems to me that helove test-antibiotic.com has ended for me, although he denies it.

I don’t know what to do. How to behave with him? I tried it in different ways, but I still end up guilty. Family should not be like this. Family is support, love,understanding, sympathy. Apparently I'm doing something wrong. But what exactly? How did I ruin everything? After all, we used to live very well.