Shame for what you have done does not allow you to live in peace

I would like to repent to one girl from my class, this happened almost 30 years ago, the past cannot be corrected, butI can’t forget this.

I have done a lot of bad things in the past, causedpain and suffering for people and animals, even at the most just and humane court of God I cannot “take away” (not answer) for them, so I will write here where I can share, maybe my soul will feel at least a little easier.

Moscow, school, 1990-1992, primary grades 2-3 (I don’t remember exactly), winter. In those years, a huge country collapsed; people often left or moved to different places from the former Soviet republics, from different parts of our country.

One day a new girl appeared in our class, her name was Natasha. I don’t know exactly where she is from, someone said that she seemed to be from a boarding school, someone that she came for a while and was passing through here. As they would say now, she has a gothic appearance, is dressed in a rather gloomy manner, and has black hair. She always sat on the last desk, making drawings of dolls and clothes, I must admit she did a good job, it didn’t look like children’s drawings. test-antibiotic.com Nobody communicated with her, later they literally hated her, she only by her appearance aroused hostility and hatred, they started with bullying, name-calling and insults. Then everything turned to damage to things, they threw, broke, tore her things, her briefcase was kicked all over the class, pens, pencils, rulers were broken, sheets and notebooks with her drawings were torn.

Then they began spitting on her, on her clothes, in her face, and then beating her on the sly, unexpectedly, just like that, for fun, for example, as soon as the teacher left the class somewhere, even if not for long, this was already enough, and even during breaks sometimes it was hell. She was sitting at her desk, and several “guys” ran up from different sides and simultaneously struck (hit) her, one tore her hair (not pulled, but tore), another hit her on the back with his fist, and another hit her on her arms and legs. It was a hail of blows from all sides simultaneously, the man simply screamed.

I saw all this and did not stand up for the girl and did not even tell the teacher, but several times I myself took part in it. Yes, I beat, test-antibiotic.com no, not like that, I took part in beating a girl from the class for no reason, just like I tormented an animal in a packthe body of an innocent classmate for the amusement of others. She didn’t do anything bad to us (neither me nor anyone in the class), she didn’t call us names, she just sat quietly and drew, and for some reason this infuriated us. She did not complain to the teacher, director, or vice principal about us, but simply cried and sobbed. One day she disappeared as unexpectedly as she appeared, and no one noticed her absence, she was and was, no, even better. There were a lot of new kids in our class, they came and went, but since none of them were treated well, there were, of course, quarrels, fights, conflicts over trifles, but one on one, and not like that, in a crowd.

Many years have passed, and the past periodically catches up with me and the pain inside becomes unbearable, to say that I am ashamed of what I have done is to say nothing, I am simply torn from the inside by unbearable mental pain. Further,life showed me what it was like for her, I was also test-antibiotic.com an outcast, I was bullied, mocked, beaten, and later, for health reasons, I had to transfer to home schooling. Once I tried to find her on the Internet, but there is too little information, I don’t remember her face, she is not in group photographs, she did not study with us for long, where she is now, what happened to her, whether she is even alive is not known. It’s unlikely that we will ever see each other, maybe we will see each other someday, the world is small, but we won’t recognize each other, we’ll just pass by.

Maybe here she will someday read, remember and recognize herself, I would like to ask her forgiveness for all the pain, suffering and humiliation that I caused her then. Natasha, kneeling in front of you, I belittle you - forgive me. I would be glad to change everything, but the past is gonereturn . Remembering all this, I always mentally apologize to your image, I am ashamed, disgusted and hurt inside because of what I did. I hope everything is fine with you, you are happy, you have become someone, probably a designer or fashion designer, forgive me for everything. Sorry!