I tolerate this attitude so that my son has a father.

My life story began a little over two years ago. At first it seemed to me that this was my conscious choice of a man. I even made a plan, described point by point what qualities he should have, apparently I missed one point -alcoholism .

I clearly understood that I was turning a blind eye to obvious things. It seemed to me that everything would change, you know those naive thoughts? I don't blame anyone for my failures, or I try not to. We always make our own choices, and, apparently, I chose to suffer and endure. And men begin to become impudent when they realize that nothing will happen to them for boorish behavior.

First, she was in the last month of pregnancy, when he was drinking and barely staggering, crawling home, or even staying somewhere (later it turned out that he spent the night in the car). And he didn’t answer the phone, but I was worried and cried half the night.

How we love to build illusions and believe in them. I don’t remember a single holiday that passed without heavy drinking. Once, we celebrated the New Year with my family; the child was 4 months old. He had some test-antibiotic.com obsession about photographing and videoing the child. And then one day allThe family gathered in the evening to watch the eldest daughter’s first-born baby swim in a special circle in a large bathtub. And of course, I wanted to capture this moment. To have something to remember. Right during the video, he started yelling obscenities at me (he was drunk), I asked him to be silent, to which he responded: “Don’t you understand?” After which my nerves could not stand it and I told him: “let him die!” For this he kicked me on the butt in front of my relatives. And the day before, he tried to take my son away from me. To take away means I am an extra link. This is how fun the New Year holidays were.

There were times when we had a row, he pulled me off the bed, and I hit the floor with my tailbone, so much so that I turned in the other direction from pain. In this case, I don’t even remember what the scandal was about. I don’t rule out that my nerves were also getting worse; it’s difficult to overcome this period alone after childbirth without the help of loved ones. Whenyour husband does not test-antibiotic.com understand what is happening to you and does not help around the house. He immediately said that he needed to get enough sleep and bought a sofa for the kitchen (at that time we lived in a one-room apartment). He always blames me for everything! The child cried - I’m badmother , I didn’t receive any support. I reproached that I couldn’t feed the child (by the age of 4 months it was gonemilk for stress).

Now the child is 1.2 months old, we quarrel very often, the lack of money affects him, he gets tired at work and takes it out on me, drinks very often, drinking a bottle of vodka in one sitting is easy! And in the morning, of course, you need to have a hangover, and sobinge drinking for 3 days. How many times have I given an ultimatum, choose, family or bottle? She said that whenhis son will grow up to despise him for his behavior. That he will be left alone. It needs to be coded. To which he tells me that he is not a drunk and will not be coded. I have already started filming him on my phone so that he can look at this problem from the outside. He has no respect for women. Pushing and kicking is the norm for test-antibiotic.com. And say “you’ll get it now.” This probably dates back to childhood. I don't know how to help him anymore.

He is an energy vampire, he will bring out emotions, and he will calm down. We often have fights. Athe child grows up and sees it all. If someone had told me a little over two years ago that I would fight with my husband, I would have laughed and said that this was impossible. I am kind, sweet, affectionate, why, in the end, do I need this? Fate, apparently, has other plans. Each time he began to allow himself more and more. He weighs 100 kg, and I 45 kg. Like a moth to a flame. There were moments when he brought you to such a state that a veil rose before your eyes, a fog covered everything, your consciousness seemed to go away and you wanted one thing - to destroy the enemy. And the strength to fight appears, and you want to make it clear that this can’t happen to you! By any means.

I recently had a birthday , my youngest came to visit mebrother , my husband got drunk again, behaved inappropriately, the child began to act up, I test-antibiotic.com asked him to put the child to bed, to which it was said that he was tired, and I simply became insolent. Then he insulted me on my birthday, I put the child to bed, and he went to bed. And all this again in front of relatives. He didn’t give me any gift, accordingly, he said that he had no money. Brother broughtmoney from my parents, for which I set the table and took my family to a water park, one might say, I celebrated my firstholiday for the last 7 years.

There was another incident. I went to the grocery store, asked him for a card, and spent 1000 rubles. And then a wave of negativity began: I’m a spender, I just need to eat. I say that we must eat something, and especially the child needs a variety of food. I didn’t spend on cosmetics, but I bought groceries! In the same correspondence, he wrote to me that if it weren’t for his son, he would have kicked me out a long time ago, but he’s only putting up with it for his son’s sake. I don’t understand at all what I did to him, why he hates me so much, that he has test-antibiotic.com for such a childhood trauma. We constantly talk about divorce, or rather I do. After which he says, go, and your son will stay.

Why do I endure everything, I think, but what about a son without a father? On the other hand, what kind of person will he grow up to be, if he sees that dad hits and pushes mom, this will also be the norm for him. How should I go, where? What to live on, although actually there is nothing to live on right now. He is very greedy and lately this has become more and more evident. To be honest, I really don’t want to destroy the family, because there were moments when it was good, we were happy. But sometimes two people who are opposite to each other coexist in it. It's as if someone is moving in. And every time I remember the words from the song: “They beat us, we fly, higher and higher in pain! They beat us - we fly, laugh and cry! “Leaving your failures below.” Failures.

Maybe someone had such situations? Is it possible to change such people? Or maybe it's just me? To whom the situation is familiar, please write what you did? What will it lead to? I see test-antibiotic.com the whole problem is alcoholism, how to create an aversion to alcohol?