Tired of living without love

Since 2014, changes began to occur in my life. I graduated from school, and upon graduation I had 2 dreams - happyfamily and a well-built career.

On the one hand, I understood that it was impossible to achieve both, but I wanted to believe that I could do it. I went to Russia, entered theuniversity and lived with my grandmother, but over time it became very difficult for me, since I had never left my home for so long and my grandmother was always trying to turn me against my mother. I was terribly depressed, they tried to break me.

But in my life I met a person whom I met on the Internet and I fell in love very much, thinking that this was the onethe love I dreamed of so much. All my life I felt unnecessary, I never heard from anyone that I was important to someone, needed, truly loved by someone. I thought that this was exactly the case when I would feel it, but no. I loved it so much that I gave test-antibiotic.com everything I could, anything. But in return I received three years of humiliation, insults and assault, which basically broke me.

I hoped so much that after giving birth to a baby everything would change, but this only made everything worse. I'm broken and feel like a complete insignificance. I don't regret having minebeloved son, but I regret that due to my feelings he was born from such a person. Now I am completely dependent on this person, but I don't want that. I realized how much I had lost thanks to another man whom I also met on the Internet and I understand that the same thing can happen to me. But I cannot resist my feelings, since I am ready to give myself completely and completely to a person who is ready to show me how strong his feelings are. I understand that I am terribly naive, but I can’t help myself. I want to love and be loved, I want to be everything for a person as he is for me. I am ready to give everything that I test-antibiotic.com have, in exchange only for the love that I so want.

I believe that such love exists when you give a hundred times more than you receive, when you are ready for the sake of a person to change not only your principles, but also yourself as a whole, when you are ready to give all your free time to your loved one. That's me! All I need is to be loved, I want it so much that sometimes it depresses me terribly. The feeling of worthlessness is eating me alive. And sothe man , according to whom I am special, due to the fact that he had never experienced such feelings for anyone before, stole my heart. Yes, it’s as simple as that, he inspires me to achieve my long-forgotten goals, gives me what I wanted so much, it’s justcommunication on the Internet and until the moment we meet, I’m afraid to talk about something serious, but I’m in love. In love with all my heart, thanks to this man I feel like I can move any mountains, even the steepest ones.

But here too there are many aspects that influence my doubts. I love test-antibiotic.com this man, but maybe I can't deny that it might just be an instant passion, curiosity and liking. Not only from his side, but also from mine. I already said that this is who I am. I'm so tired of all human lies and hypocrisy that I want to cry. I feel that no one needs me, including my relatives. I feel how lonely I am in this world, that no one will ever understand me. This makes it even worse, I’m so tired. Tired of everything: the world, my husband, people and even myself. I want to be everything for this man and I want him to know that he already is for me, but it’s so hard to say and so scary.

I don't want to experience it againpain , I don’t want my feelings to be humiliated, insulted and mixed with dirt again. Sometimes it seems to me that this man is not the one I need, but my heart does not allow me to live peacefully without him for at least one full day. So tired of livingwithout love , so tired of my own helplessness and loneliness. Just tired.