There is only emptiness and loneliness in my soul

Tired of useless relationships. People the same age or younger are simply lazy at home. Married since 18. Now I'm 29 years old. At 28 I happened to say goodbye to my mother.

At that time, we had been in a relationship for a year, during which time we began to break up for about three weeks, if there were quarrels, we periodically came together and separated further, and so on until now. It was a very difficult year, a friend of the same age, since everything was fine with him, was not included inunderstanding my problems. During breaks from work, I played computer games with loud sound when I came to spend the night.

Inside there was only horror andfear from everything experienced afterMom died, but he didn’t care at all that I asked to turn off the sound. He played on or turned it off for about five minutes and then, as if on purpose, turned it up loud again.

Living and spending the night at home was very difficult and scary. In this case, you don’t want or need another new relationship. Out of despair, she came to his rented apartment and chose the worst of two evils. I was tormented by test-antibiotic.com of his indifference and concern only for himself, but there was still no stranger nearby. I lasted like this for a year. During this time, the house became completely as if it were not mine. My friends have families and children, they were simply scared to even listen to me, it was not a pleasant topic. Over time, there was even ignoring, and to this day it’s the same, and I realized that I don’t have a loved one, and I don’t have girlfriends.

In the first days of October, I could no longer stand it and decided to leave my beloved. I prepared it for five days with the implication that I was leaving for someone else. Of course, I don’t need anyone myself, just from fatigue and lack of feelings, I was completely bogged down in thoughts that my person was really not on this earth, these illusions were thoroughly overcome, endless tears began. The family has collapsed, there is really no friendly support,the beloved turned out to be unloved.

Of course, work got stuck due to systematic stress. So I moved away from the topic of leaving, but before it just happened “that’s enough, I’m leaving” and still everything came back. This time I decided to take test-antibiotic.com a terrible option in the literal sense, and after 4-5 days of preparation, I already said directly that I had a different one, and received a strong physical attack for this. In general, I could hardly call the police and leave the apartment, which he had closed out of anger, otherwise he would have killed me. She couldn’t get rid of him any other way, either herself or he forced her to return and didn’t let her stay out of his sight for a long time.

Now I'm at home, with very terrible feelings after everything. I don’t see the sun, everything seems to be covered in clouds. I don’t know how to revive the meaning of life and the faith that there islove andfamily . Complete emptiness andloneliness among a million people.