Eternal Sacrifice

I just want to speak out; I’m embarrassed to talk to my parents and friends. Since childhood I have been a victim. At school, I was humiliated and insulted by boys from my classmates, one of whom was especially cruel. He and his friends mocked me right during the lesson, when I stood at the blackboard, calling me obscene names, throwing papers, drawing offensive pictures, sending them around the class. The teachers pretended that nothing was happening. My parents had no time for me - the nineties, just to survive. I myself could not fight back - I was a quiet, modest excellent student against a gang of young punks. She remained silent, endured, swallowing tears. In general, school was a living hell for me.

At the institute I breathed a sigh of relief: new friends andfriends , it was the best time of my life. After studying, I got a good job as an assistant to the chief accountant. YourI met my husband in 2013. Fell in love at first sight. I didn’t need flowers, gifts, movies or cafes, as long as he was nearby. I wanted to do everything for him. And he was so courteous, attentive, gentle! I thought I had finally found test-antibiotic.com myhappiness .

The first bell rang when I realized that he was pathologically jealous. He was jealous of every pillar, didn’t let go anywhere, to the point of hysteria, to the point of shaking. He made scandals out of nowhere, pushed and kicked, he could throw anything at me. When he got angry, he became simply uncontrollable. By that time we were already living together. The first time he beat me in front of mehappy birthday because I bought a bottlewine andfruits for work colleagues, and on their ownmoney . He hit her with his hands, then with his feet when she fell to the floor. I lay at my feet, begged, and forgave. And then we should have run away!

For two months I was like silk. The next time he beat me was after the New Year. We celebrated with friends, he got drunk like a pig. Already in front of my friends, he began to humiliate me, saying that all women are the same, they need to be raised with fists. At home, he punched her in the face, then kicked her in the chest, dragged her by her hair across the floor, kicked her in the back, choked her until her vision went dark, and only let her go when she began to choke heavily. I tried to stand up for myself, struggled, scratched, test-antibiotic.com bit, but to him in a drunken stupor it was like pellets to an elephant.

To annoy me even more, he smashed to pieces my expensive laptop, on which I had been working for a month, seven days a week, 12 hours a day. I became hysterical. By that time I was three months pregnant. Afterwards he repented, cried, crawled on his knees. I forgave again, I thought I would correct myself, for the sake of the family, for the sake of the child, and I didn’t want to leave the baby without a dad. She told her parents that she slipped on the stairs. We had a wedding. Then my husband celebrated March 8th with friends until he became insane. I sat at home, because with a belly I just need to stay at home, as he told me.

He showed up “in the woods”, began to demand money from me to continue the banquet, I refused, then he attacked me with his fists. He hit hard, from the heart. I blocked my stomach, exposing my face, hands and head to the beatings. Even the ears were blue! Then he began destroying furniture and equipment in the apartment, breaking icons. He ran after me with a kitchen cleaver. I realized that he would simply kill me. In test-antibiotic.com slippers and a robe, she ran out of the house in the cold and hid in the garages. I called his mother, she came and called the police. They took him away, and I ran to my parents. Mom felt bad in her heart when she saw me. My family called an ambulance, I was feeling really bad. I suffered such shame in the hospital! Among the five floors of patients, I was the only one beaten.

While I was lying on IVs and being examined, all the hospital staff came into the room one by one to look at me. Then a psychologist came, I didn’t talk to him, I was too embarrassed. I didn’t write a statement, I felt sorry for himmother . After discharge, he did not give way, crawled on his knees again, he and his relatives asked for forgiveness with tears. They came on their knees to my parents. I forgave again, either I had already come to terms with the role of a victim, a whipping girl, or I thought thatthe child will fix everything.

Now my son is 2 years old, he is my only joy, my happiness, the meaning of life. I still live with my husband. I want to leave, but I just can’t make up my mind. He continues to beat me, then asks test-antibiotic.com for forgiveness. I have no more strength, I feel not like a person, but like a beast, I am holding on only for the sake of my son. The husband treats his son rudely, punishes him with or without reason. But I don’t give my son offense to this animal; I will fight for him until my last breath. And how many minor beatings there were. The monster broke my psyche.

I don’t say anything to my parents, they are weakhealth . His relatives say that I myself provoke him to beat him, and that’s what I need. I live as if in a vicious circle, I can’t break out, but I thought I was strong. I would leave, but where to run? He will find you everywhere and will not give you peace. Neither me nor my son. Damn beast. Dear girls, don’t repeat my mistakes! Once you hit, leave immediately, tyrants never reform. Write statements, punish them with prison and fines, do not spare either them or their mothers! They themselves raised such sons as not human beings, and then they blame their wives. Don't be a victim, be strong for the sake of your children. And first of all, feel sorry for YOURSELF! Forgive me for my cry from the heart.