Always alone and see no way out
I studied in Moscow and after finishing my studies I stayed here. I provide for myself: I pay for the apartment, I put on clothes and shoes. My mother never helped me; she was sure that I could somehow cope on my own. But it was really hard for me, this terrible responsibility for myself alone. Eternal search for work or housing. Living with strangers. I thought that it would appear in my lifebeloved person, but no, all my “loves” end badly. Sometimes it seems to me that as soon as I fall in love, everything collapses for me.
There were also friends: some betrayed, others, after borrowing money, disappeared.
Then my mother died... It was very difficult for me - I was left completely alone. At that moment I needed support so much, for someone to tell me that everything would get better. But friends and many relatives said that everything would be bad for you, in life, and I was alone.
I stopped communicating with them. There's only one left. I sold my parents’ home and bought an apartment with a mortgage. And again, you need to pay for this roof yourself. So tired. I tolerate a job I don't like. Every day test-antibiotic.com is like hard labor. Now I'm looking for a new one, I probably need to change at least something. My personal life is not working out at alllife - I'm always alone. Although not ugly, one might say that she is even attractive. I really don't want to be alone. I'm afraid that I will never have children either.
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