I want to leave my husband and leave him children

I am 31 years old. Married for 8 years now. gave birth to a son anddaughter . My son is 7 years old and my daughter is 4 years old.

After 8 years of marriage, I began to understand that even children do not bring me happiness and satisfaction. I became even more depressed than before. The family has everything for happiness - lovinghusband , children, a roof over my head, but I feel so miserable. I don't want to watch the kids. Tired of indulging her husband and children. Doing what I don't want to do all the time. My husband tells me what to do, he won't let me work. He took away my small business, which I came up with, began to run it himself, and now I am left worthless. It's all in his name. His IP and his accounts. He does not give money for my personal expenses and says that everythingmoney is already spent on the well-being of our family and our future.

It makes me feel guilty that if I spend even a penny on what I want, then I will be the worst mother who does not think about the future of the family. Children always want something from me. test-antibiotic.com I also do everything at home by myself. The three of them can only litter. Tired of washing dishes and cooking. Over the years of marriage, he alienated all my girlfriends from me. Before marriage, I had dreams, a job, my own money, girlfriends, entertainment, beautiful clothes, and self-esteem. Now I look terrible, haven't gone anywhere for 8 years.

I cry often and fall into apathy. I can burrow under the covers for a few days until I get ready again. There is no strength and energy to play with children and smile at them. You constantly need to study the school curriculum with your son and explain homework to him. The teachers are angry that we don't teach him properly. My husband left these duties to me. My son has ADHD and gyractivity. It is difficult for him to study at school. My husband does not want to understand this and tells me to deal with him, that the doctors are supposedly stupid, but our son is normal.

The daughter is an angel, but she also began to throw tantrums more often. Recently, thoughts of leaving life or just running away began to visit. If I leave test-antibiotic.com my children and my husband, then my relatives and my husband's relatives will drive me crazy with endless reproaches about how terrible I ammother .

What should I do? How to return to normal life? I forgot how to communicate with my friends? I've become such a homebody that I can't walk in society. The husband does not let go to work because of jealousy. He has paranoid thoughts that I might meet someone there. He is jealous of all men. Controls my whole life. I stopped buying the clothes I want. He even says what I should wear.

I'm like a mouse pushed into a dark cage. I don't see the point in living on. I can’t go to a psychologist, I don’t have money, and if I go, then everyone around will say that I have lost my mind. They will laugh and in our small town everyone will immediately know about it. And everyone will put pressure on me and my family. Everyone will discuss. I'm embarrassed to meet with a psychologist. Where will I go? I can't even go online. Husband 24/7 at home.

Help me!