I have changed and become different

Everything changed in the summer of 2015. As usual, I worked, studied and wrote another favorite hobbynovel _ My life in the past was ordinary, because now it is definitely unusual. Everything then seemed so boring and monotonous, although the work was interesting and loved, I had a lot of friends and saw each other often, had a rest, etc. But there was something that didn’t suit me. I always wanted to understand what I wanted, but they always told me that I myself don’t know what I want. I think these people were right, I really didn’t know what I wanted.

I can't say what I'm writing nowconfession , no, this is just the story of my life, which changed me. And everything was like that. I studied well at school, good grades are C's and B's, it's even funny to me, but girls are supposed to study well. Well, okay, I'll continue. I had a lot of friends, I could find a common language with anyone, I was always a leader in the company, I could carry on a conversation well, I was such a cool girl, but if my friends knew that test-antibiotic.com inside I was a lonely person with my own dreams and dreams , experiences. My self-esteem was not lowered, I did not want my inner state to be written on my face, I wanted to be strong and at the same time be dispassionate towards everyone and everything.

My appearance sometimes frightened my relatives, which is why things didn’t work out between us.relationship , they couldn't stand me. My aunt constantly told me before the next wedding that I was going to that no one needed my beauty, that inside I was cold and callous, I loved only myself and animals, that I was the same as mymother . By the way, I was living with relatives at the time, but someday I’ll write why I lived with them and not with my family. For the wedding, of course, I dressed smartly, but in everyday life I wore black clothes, dyed my hair and even my eyebrows black, and listened to heavy, dark music. The gothic subculture completely took over me, I couldn’t imagine myself at all.life without gothic, I loved elegant black dresses, gloves, long black hair, and my favorite thing was test-antibiotic.com these are books in the Renaissance.

Now I remember and think how I managed to leave it all, because I told everyone and most importantly myself that I would never change. It seems to me that now I am a completely different person, but I admit that in the past I liked myself more. I always received compliments, there were quite a few suitors, but I had no time for them, I was writing a novel, and did not think about a serious relationship. Although, of course, I dreamed of true love. And now, I’m sitting, writing and thinking that in that past life, even though I was lonely mentally, I still liked myself more, I liked myself more than now. Even if they tell me now that I became feminine with marriage, let them say that I have become different, much better, and that I have changed completely. But this doesn't make me feel very good. Internally, I didn’t want to change, because I don’t write novels anymore, because now II'm marriedfamily , and now I have to be responsible. Childhood is over, of course, 24 years are behind me, now I’m 25 and everything test-antibiotic.com has changed dramatically, I’ve changed all over.

I became more religious and I understand that this is what I lacked, just peace of mind. And it’s good that no one here knows me, none of my friends or relatives know that I’m sitting here and writing about the past. Those who are nearby, we cannot always tell them about what is eating us, what is inside us, it is easier to tell a stranger, because we may definitely not meet him again, only if he does not want to be part of our life. There are a lot of people here and they don't know me and I don't know them. I just wanted to tell you what was on my heart and just talk it out.