I created these problems for myself

I found myself in a very difficult situation and accidentally stepped onpregnancy (already 11 weeks). The first pregnancy (my daughter is now 4 years old) was long-awaited; my husband and I waited for her for 5 years (we couldn’t get pregnant), but this one came very unexpectedly, since given my state of women’s health this was impossible, which is why, apparently, I didn’t think I could get pregnant.

It turned out that with my husbandthe relationship was on the verge of divorce, that month we were already living separately, everything was heading towards divorce, I met an old friend, and it so happened that there wassex , and three weeks later I took a test, and it turned out to be positive. I was shocked and that friend was also shocked that this happened the first time. Now I've stopped everythingcommunication with this friend, he did not force me to have an abortion and did not react negatively to the pregnancy, but after talking, he said that we could not live together for certain reasons (he is not married, he has been divorced for a long time). And all three months I have been in such a limbo, I still haven’t registered for pregnancy, but I have only collected documents and certificates for this. Pregnancy has to be hidden from everyone for nowhusband , mother and other relatives and friends.

But there is another difficult circumstance - finances. It so happened that in the summer of this year, for certain reasons, I got into debt and loans, I wanted to organize my own business, but nothing worked out, and the debts remained. My relatives lent me some of the money to close it, but I still have 2 loans and 4 microloans hanging on me. Most of it is overdue, only bankI try to pay the loan on time. A month ago, I was left without a job and asked to resign from the company where I had worked for more than 4 years, as calls to work began because of my overdue loans.

Now I'm sitting without work at all,the child has not been going to kindergarten for almost a month, as he is often sick, and therefore it is difficult to find a job; even before the New Year, I found only a courier to deliver newspapers, in the coldwalking with heavy bags every day . These are little things that are hard, even though they pay pennies. test-antibiotic.com Now I am in a very depressed state, when I force myself to get out of bed, negative thoughts, but only what stops me is what I already havedaughter .

I do not know what to do next. I live with my daughter with my husband (hisapartment ), then at my mother’s, I wander back and forth, if I have a fight with my husband, for example, I go to my mother’s, then we make up and live again. Now I had a fight with my mother, everything is complicated by the lack of money, so I would rent an apartment temporarily, at least and live separately with my daughter. I put a lot of things up for sale that were suitable for sale, but there were no responses at all.

I am also an artist (my second education), I have accumulated a lot of paintings. I also constantly put them up for sale wherever possible, at reasonable prices, just to sell them faster, and there are no responses either. It’s as if no one in our small town is interested in paintings, although they are made with high quality, using classical and modern techniques.  My husband doesn’t know about my pregnancy yet, but he’s already noticing changes in my body, I’ve already gained 5 kg and my belly is starting to stand out a little. test-antibiotic.com But he already said that if I suddenly find myself pregnant, he will send me for an abortion. And I don’t want to get rid of an innocent child because of my financial problems.

I really need support, I am greatly consumed by guilt because of what I have done, which I only bring to my loved onesproblems , and then there’s pregnancy. I’m afraid to turn to that friend for financial help, especially since we haven’t talked or seen each other for a month, I didn’t put pressure on him and didn’t expect anything from him, he himself said that when the child is born I can only count on finances from him, but after all I need it nowmoney . I don't know how to talk to this friend and I'm not sure if he will help me financially.

I’m at a crossroads, my head is a mess, what should I do to start solving my problems. I can no longer ask my relatives for help, they helped me in any way they could, and if they find out that Ipregnant , they’ll be generally angry that they won’t soon see their money that they borrowed from me. And the fact that now I won’t be able to test-antibiotic.com get a normal job, since the bosses will find out sooner or later that I came to them already pregnant. All that remains is to try to make money at home with my artistic skills, but I have difficulties with sales. Previously, in the summer, sales were quite good, but now there is some kind of stagnation, a feeling that no one needs what I do.