Am I destroying everything myself?

I met my husband 6 years ago. I took it into circulation myself. We started dating quickly, I offered to move in together, and we rented an apartment. She offered to buy a joint apartment. Bought. He didn't offer to marry. And then I forced him myself. How is it that we’ve been living for so long, we’re paying the mortgage, but who am I? All girl? And then he agreed. We had a wedding, made renovations, and moved.

At this time we began to quarrel. One time, very seriously, when he started grabbing me, I wanted to leave the house. It came to a fight (she went to live with her mother). But for some reason I returned to him after a while. Later he will say: “you’ll come running from mommy later.”

Both worked, and for a while I earned more than him. Only I know how to save, he hasmoney is not delayed. Therefore, he paid for the mortgage, I paid for the repairs, and all more or less major needs. I always save for something, even for emergencies, I received a salary, set aside some, paid for what was needed. He thinks that I always hid the money, but just tell him, he will find where to spend it right away.

There were no children for a long time, then test-antibiotic.com became pregnant. I feel exhausted, he takes all my strength. I think he's an energy vampire. The child was small, he said: “You’re disturbing me from sleeping, I have to get up at 5 in the morning!” And he was disturbed by the barely shining light of a small night light hidden behind the closet, because after 3-5 minutesthe baby had to wake up for feeding. “Can you stop the baby from squealing, my head is pounding,” he saysthe husband was dissatisfied with his tone, without taking his eyes off the console.

Then, out of nowhere, a scandal broke out in correspondence, where he insulted me, my mother, and all my relatives. He wrote how tired he was of me. I collected the child and silently went to my mother. I came to investigate, to return home, he stole my things, left me without documents, car, money and phone. I returned it 2 days later and apologized.

Just a little bit, immediately in a raised voice, almost like that, insults, I’ll put the child to bed for the night, I want to go wash myself and relax. The husband immediately shouts: “Go quickly wash and sleep, you’re staggering around and won’t let me sleep half the night, the water is pouring, I have to get up at 5 in the morning.” And all test-antibiotic.com time is “me, me, me...”. I walk like a mouse, always quietly and carefully. And this constant: “who else will teach you life!”, “your mother doesn’t need you,” “you’re uncollected and alllife suffers from this.”

Without guilt, I feel as guilty as I have never felt in my life. I am so tired! My husband loves the child, but it’s as if he wants to kill me. And I feel sorry for the child, he’s not a year old, but I don’t have the strength. I don’t know where he’ll fly from next time and for what. I have never been angry or boorish, but now I understand that I am becoming one. I want to answer him the same way, I want to humiliate him in some way, to hurt him. I want to take revenge on him.

I can't bring myself to finally leave. I spent so much time building this “happiness”, I gave so much soul to it all, so much time has passed. I always thought thatdivorce is not about me. The child is small and loves him. I’m just torn, but he’s eating me up, it seems to me that very soon there will be nothing left of me. And I will be test-antibiotic.com like my mother-in-law - beaten, unhappy, but so loving to her father-in-law. I think he did the same to her.

Am I destroying everything myself? I ask for an outside perspective, I doubt my decisions and actions. And I'm just afraid.